Gramma's "Wit"

Wrapping Up 2011 With Family, Fun, And Tons Of Love!

2012-01-10T23:30:00.000-08:00

So another year is over and the new one has just started. As I look back over 2011 I am once again amazed and humbled by the many blessings in my life. Jim and I definitely have our trials- mostly health issues- but we are abundantly blessed with the joy and love of our family. We watch as our children are raising their children - living lives of integrity and decency and love. Each of them with a partner in life that they adore and that gives them the love and support they deserve. We watch as Brooke Anne continues to grow- how she is starting to "outgrow" some things and learning to appreciate new things. Her world is ever expanding- and again, I am so grateful for the people that live and work with her.

As the year drew to a close, as we celebrated the birth of our Savior, we were blessed again and again to be with and celebrate with much of the family.

Our "first" celebration was of course, just Jim and I and Brooke Anne- as has been our Christmas every year-especially mine since her birth. She was happy to be home once again, just hanging out with us. For the first time she tried to say Scooter instead of Muffin (she has called him "Muff" because he looks so much like our little Muffin we had years ago). She was not overly interested in opening gifts... she'd open one, then after a while open another. It has been this way with her since she was little. I think Jim was more excited to have her open the necklace and earrings he gave her than she was... although she proudly modeled them later on. We just love her so much and I can't imagine my life without her.

Next on our "holiday" agenda- Malaya's baptism. Jim took a really bad turn with his pain and his back the day before we were to travel to Pocatello and Shelley. The doctor firmly restricted him from traveling, so I went alone as Jim desperately wanted at least one of us to be there for her. It was very sweet. We bought her a white dress and when she came out of the dressing room after being baptized I found myself in tears. She looked so sweet and beautiful. Got to see a lot of that side of the family too- just didn't get enough pictures there... I think I was too busy visiting.

After the baptism and luncheon at Josh and Tringle's, we had my side of the family holiday get together at Donnie and Katie's house. Oh my goodness we had so much fun! The girls loved their tutu skirts and fairy halos.. Mailei got a sequined hat... and the boys each loved their toys... Nash and Haedon especially loved their little flashlights. I think the big kids liked theirs too.... Jim had picked out all the grown-up kids' gifts this year and it was fun watching them open them. Donnie, Mike and Brady of course each got a knife and Heather, Katie and Jade got - what else?- jewelry! We had this activity where we each told what we loved and appreciated about our parents... the kids were all so sweet and the grownups were very thoughtful and funny at the same time. It was a wonderful moment of sharing that I will treasure always... and I think a new tradition for us each year. I sometimes am overwhelmed at the depth of love and joy I share with my children. I am truly, truly so very blessed.

I took so many pictures it was hard to pick which ones to post. These family shots were really fun... I love the one of the grownups where Donnie is pulling a funny face (he thought we were doing a funny face pose I guess)- The one with Gramma and the kids pulling faces looks to me like River is saying - What am I supposed to do here? I think River managed to get in more pictures than anyone... everyone wanted to hold her and her mommy and daddy are never far away from her.

The day after the party with the kids, Heather and her kids and I headed out to visit with Great Grandparents. First we went to Grandma Esther's- the kids just love going there. It was so sweet-Mikey just kept giving her hug after hug- and when we left he said, "I just felt like Grandma needed a lot of hugs today." He is a sweet boy and very thoughtful of others. (I hear Grandma Esther has been raving about Mikey's hugs to everyone she talks to!) Then off to Granny & Grandpa Toomer's (or as Molly says- Granny and Grampa Tuner). It was so good to see them. I miss them all the time. My mom is getting more and more forgetful and it's hard to see, but Daddy takes good care of her. It is going to be really hard for him when he can't and some of us are afraid that time is coming sooner than he realizes. I don't know if she has ever truly realized just how much he cherishes her. They were both very happy to see us all! Grandpa kidded and teased the kids just as he did Heather and her siblings when they were growing up and Granny just kind of loved on everyone. It was a good visit and I am really thankful that Heather and kids came with me. It is hard to travel alone so much.

While we were at Grandpa and Granny "Tuner's"- Molly had us each sit with her little ballerina bear so she could take a picture of us. That's one of the things I really love about my family- we are not afraid to be silly and goofy and still know how to play. We love each other deeply and no matter how many years or miles may separate us from each other, we are there in a heartbeat when there is a need.

Finally - our last Christmas celebration was this past weekend. Jon and Katrina came here with the kids so we could open gifts with each other. Again, we had a blast! These kids are so thoughtful... it has been such an honor to see them grow- especially Sam. He is now 13 and has become quite an awesome young man. Oh he still gets crazy and silly with Gramma, but he is a good, good boy. I love all these kiddos so so much. Trying to get pictures with everyone smiling or looking in the same direction was quite a conundrum! Jacob cracked me up so much with his Paper Jamz guitar... he was born to rock that kid! Tabitha was all princess in her tutu and had fun playing with some of Gramma's baby dolls...she was very gentle with them. Aaron and Ben had tons of fun with their new toys too! It was a great time for all of us and it really made Jim's holidays complete. He was just beaming with love and happiness to have his kids come here to see him.

All in all this was a fabulous holiday season for us! Jon and Katrina gave me a beautiful Children's Songbook that I have been longing for... made me cry of course. Besides all these family times and blessings, I got to sing the Messiah with Boise Master Chorale and Orchestra, participate in our ward Christmas program for Sacrament meeting on Christmas Day.... and it all means that much more since we know the purpose of this glorious time of year - to celebrate the birth of our Savior- to be reminded again of the gift of His life and all that it made possible for each of us.

So- goodbye 2011 and welcome 2012! Can't wait to see and experience all that the new year has in store for me and mine. Whatever comes our way, we will all be in it together in love and joy and the knowledge that we have a loving Heavenly Father watching over each and every one of us.

Posted by a humble, grateful Gramma.

November 2011 - Here and Gone So Fast! Sheesh!

2011-12-02T15:31:00.000-08:00

So November was an exciting, busy month this year. We started it out with Carter's baptism on the 5th. There is no joy like watching your grandchildren grow and blossom... watching them learn and display the integrity and character that will carry them into adulthood.

After Carter was baptized we all went and watched him play basketball, then back to share lunch and celebrate this awesome little man. He is so full of zest for life! He has such a funny personality and yet has depth beyond his years. He is also a little artist- always drawing. It was a wonderful weekend for this gramma!

During that trip to SE Idaho, I got to see other grandkids... Heather's family; Jonathon's; Justin's, and Brady's. I'm trying to make my trips so that I take turns seeing the kids - I haven't done very good at that in the past and I hate to think I may have hurt any feelings.... so look out kids when Gramma comes "whirling" through!

On the 18th & 20th the Boise Philharmonic Choir and Boise Baroque Orchestra put on a Mozart/Back concert. It was some of the hardest music I've ever sung, yet some of the most beautiful too! It was exhausting, yet totally filled my soul. I love classical music so much... the beauty of it is so inspired and just fills the heart and soul.

Then for Thanksgiving, Donnie & Katie came here for the weekend and Brooke was here for a few days. We had lots of fun and got to celebrate Blake's birthday a little early. We went to Red Robin (his choice) to eat. While we were sitting he noticed some of the RR staff singing to another birthday patron and he looked at us all and said "oh no- don't you do it!" Which of course we ignored! It was so funny- they tried to get him to stand up on his chair but he is so tall now that he was bumping into an overhanging blimp thingy- so he had to just kneel on his chair. They put balloons around his neck and oh did his little cheeks turn rosy as they announced his birthday to the whole restaurant and then sing to him! (I can't believe he is 11!)

Blake is so much fun! He is so tall! He will soon be taller than his parents and Gramma! He is a hard working kid who loves, loves to read! In fact his mom has to get after him to put down his books once in a while. But how wonderful is that?! He has such a special place in my heart... I remember when they lived her in Nampa, he and I would go on these special "dates".. to the movie or McDonald's or dollar store (or all three!). I once told him that when he got to be a teenager and started dating girls his age, he should tell them his first "date" was with his Gramma! His reaction was pretty funny!

Granny Toomer was in Boise at my niece Jesse's house so we got to go in and see her. Brooke was so happy to see her! She loved and kissed on her and made Granny sit right down by her and rub her back. Granny Toomer was happy to see Donnie and his family too! She is getting frail and it is a bit frightening... but she did look better than she has for a while (even though she needed help getting down the stairs). I love my mom so very much- it is heartbreaking to see her getting frail with age.

Brooke with her Granny

Carter, Blake & Granny

Brooke was so happy to be home! She loves being here with Jim and I. He is so good to her- we are both so blessed to have him in our lives. He walks with her whenever she is home. It was so cute, she heard him asking Scooter if he wanted to go for a walk and she came out of her room with her shoes on, a giant smile and signed "walk".... she wanted to stay close to him most of the time. When things got a little hectic for her she came out of her room with a pair of Jim's jammy pants on, her shoes, and signed "go"... she was ready to go back to some peace and quiet. But she loved seeing Donnie... she so loves her siblings. And of course she made Katie sit and rub her back too! :)

It was so cold! But she wasn't about to let him go without her!

Playing with her beloved "koosh"

Oh! I almost forgot- the boys and I had a "slumber party" in the living room on Friday night! It has become one of my traditions when grandkids come here or when I stay with them to try to have a night where we watch movies, stay up late and sleep out together!

No- I did not stay on the floor all night- moved to my recliner after they all fell asleep.

All in all it was a wonderful month! I am so blessed to have the family I have--- and to have the joy in my life that comes through sharing and learning and growing always in the gospel and in all areas of this amazing journey we call mortality.

Posted with love and humble gratitude to Heavenly Father for all these blessings.

This Doesn't Happen Every Day!

2011-10-29T09:45:00.000-07:00

Okay- so I just had to post these pictures of my pantry. Usually it is a jumble of "stuff".... Jim sometimes uses it as his bullet/knife/gun cleaning stuff storage... when I find that kind of thing in there I take it out and put it in his "gun room"- then, I am notorious for just shoving food in wherever I can fit it... then I let the kids and Brooke just rifle through at their whim... anyway ((sigh))- last week we discovered one of Jim's water jugs (he has tucked/stored them all over the house and garage) had been smooshed and cracked and had leaked... probably slowly over a period of time. So there was waterlogged boxes and well, just a mess. I ended up spending several days pulling out everything, cleaning up and salvaging what I could. I washed the shelves and walls and floor with a water/bleach solution and then reorganized. These pictures are the result and a strict vow to keep it this way- rotate food, treat it like a good little pantry and strict orders to Jim reminding him this is NOT where bullets/knives/gun stuff go! Ha Ha!

posted by a tired, but kinda "pleased with my work" gramma!

Some Precious Moments - Oct. 2011

2011-10-20T23:49:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd post a bunch of pictures from my last trip to Pocatello and Idaho Falls. The hardest part is picking which ones to post. And I want to post so many, I made collages- yup-again!

Baby sitting River while Brady and Jade move to a new apartment.

Hangin' out playing with the Barlows.

Heather canned a bunch of fruit (I helped peel the pairs!)

More playin' around with the kiddos.

Had a blast with the girls and Tommy.

They're showing Gramma their tumbling tricks.

Mailei and Gramma- oh how I love this girl!

I'm pretty sure she loves me too!

It was so fun to see Blake's football game. So shocking

to see how tall he is! Sheesh!

Celebrating Carter's 8th birthday. He was so funny.

Blake told me he already had a lot of the same art stuff

I bought.... but one color book was different! he he he

Mailei's 2010 Halloween costume and just a pretty pose.

River in 3 different costumes... so far... who knows what she will actually dress up as on Halloween.

Molly and Maddy in their princess dresses from Gramma.

Evie is a crazy crazy girl! We were laughing so hard while taking all these. Every time I aimed the camera, she jumped in front. Then had me do close-ups of the others too- even a silly dolly.

Excited for my next post- in a couple of weeks - Carter's getting baptized!

Posted by a Gramma who never gets tired of having fun with the kiddos!

Rock-N-Rollin' at Gramma's House

2011-10-02T22:03:00.000-07:00

We just love it when one of our kids and their families come to visit. This weekend we had Jim's 4th child - Josh and his wife Tringle with their kids- Kyriahna-12, Jolanna-11 (this month), Kaldon-9, Malaya-7, and Taron-6 (this month). They were here to participate in a Karate tournament in Meridian on Friday and Saturday. So after they were competing Friday, they came out here to sleep and to visit. The first thing the youngest said to me was, "we haven't seen you in a long, long, time, Gramma"--- "I know," I said- "the last time was for Eliza's baptism in July. And boy has Grampa & Gramma been missing you all," Then Malaya said it takes "FOREVER" to get here... about an hour. I laughed cause it is actually about 4 hours from their house. We had a lot of fun! Friday night the kids and I hung out playing and laughing. Malaya and Taron found a toy guitar and toy rhythm player upstairs along with a big plastic microphone. So we spent about an hour playing like we were a rock-n-roll band. Jolanna found my flickering reindeer headband and put it on and joined the band. Grampa took pictures of us. I tried to get a video of the kids playing, but Jolanna got a little shy and very quietly was singing... "bop" "bop" "bop" We thought we were hilarious!

We also celebrated (just a bit early) Jolanna and Taron's October birthdays. Jolanna cracked me up- she got frustrated trying to gently pull the tape off the box and when she couldn't get it, she resorted to biting it off... I'm all..."just rip it open!".. he he. Taron ripped his open immediately!

I have once again put together collages cause it's too hard to just pick a couple of pictures...even with the collages I only use a fraction of what I take.... so I try to put a variety together to capture the moment and the atmosphere of each visit or event. I have to say this time, my favorite collage has to be the rock-n-roll collage of pictures. We were having a blast. Kaldon and Kyriahna were NOT enjoying the noise..er...I mean the music we were making. I had to chase them to try to get them to participate and all they did was cover their ears and duck away from us. They wouldn't join us for all our pleading. ha ha ha!

Here's the little video I was talking about!

I am so grateful that Josh and his family came to visit. It means so much to Jim- to both of us-since Jim can't travel much at all. He worries all the time about his family. I know that his prayers were answered this weekend indeed! I haven't seen Jim so happy and excited for a long time.

Posted once again with gratitude and joy.... by a rock-n-rollin' Gramma!

My Life In Pictures- July - September 2011

2011-09-29T23:22:00.000-07:00

I've had quite an eventful summer. My next trip after River was born was the weekend of the 4th of July. First I went camping at Indian Springs with Donnie & Katie & the boys. We had a blast! We swam (of course) we watched bugs, and fish, and fireworks. We had yummy food prepared by Donnie & Katie. The first night there, Heather and the kids were there to swim and picnic with us too. I FORGOT to take pictures while she was there! But I did get a few fun ones the next couple of days. Following is a collage of just a few of the pictures.

After leaving Indian Springs, I spent a couple of days at Heather's. It was a lot of fun... Brady and Jade and River came over for a barbecue, then we all loaded up and went to see fireworks. It was marvelous! I like to think I am seriously patriotic and on the 4th, every year the fireworks just fill my soul with joy and celebration. The grand finale each year- with inspiring music in the background- always brings me to tears.

Brady and Jade are so cute with their little River girl. And they are so happy to bring her around so family can love on her too! It was great to be able to get pictures of River with Jim (his first time seeing her) and with Jim's mom- Gramma Esther as the kids call her. She just loves having all the kids come and visit her. We are blessed to have her in our lives. Once I married Jim, she just took us into her heart and her home like we'd been family from the first. She is a wonderful woman.

When Jim came down, we had the privilege of going to our granddaughter Eliza's baptism. My camera batteries were almost dead so I didn't get many pictures from there, but I did get this beautiful one of Eliza. She is so precious and dear to my heart. I had the honor to be present at her birth and when she and her family lived here in Boise we were so close. I love the time I have with Eliza and her family. It is amazing how much love swells in our hearts for children that are ours through marriage. I have truly been blessed. As you can see, there are pictures of Tanner and Tyler in this collage also. Tanner and I have some truly outrageously fun together!

This next collage is a collection of pictures of River with her cousins (and Uncle Donnie and Gramma). As you can see, she is very very loved! I think as a family we are all absolutely thrilled that Brady has found this happiness in his life. We just love Jade to pieces- how could we not? She is a delightful person and she has given happiness to Brady that had eluded him for quite a while.

One of the highlights of every summer for me is the Toomer Reunions. The big one is every other year, so on the off year we have just our immediate family. This year was the big family- and although there were many missing, we still had aunts, uncles, cousins, and family from several states there. It seems like our family (my mom & dad and all o'us) always have the biggest showing. Every one of my siblings were there! All seven of us! Sadly, many of our children didn't make it, but each of us had at least part of our family there. Following the reunion in the park, a bunch of our family always goes out to the lake (Bear Lake) and we do have a TON OF FUN!!! Sand, water, water fights, games, kids, grownups, we all just LOVE it!

On Sept. 11th the Boise Philharmonic Master Chorale, the choir I sing with, performed in a concert to commemorate the tragedy of the 9/11/2001 terrorist attacks on our country. The concert didn't focus on the grief- rather on hope and growing and moving forward. The music we performed was written and composed by a local man, Paul Aiken in 2005 in memory of that date. It has been performed twice here and before I joined the choir, they even performed it at Carnegie Hall in New York. It is amazing music, The concert was free, but they collected donations for the Interfaith Sanctuary which provides food, clothing and shelter to the homeless and the donations came up to $4000.00! Now they will be able to build some showers at the shelter. I think that is just wonderful! I love this choir and I love the challenge of singing classical music.

Jim cannot do very much- he can hardly travel... but this year he has been slowly, steadily working on projects to improve our yard. I am so proud of him, (I have helped when I could, but my allergies are so bad I'm pretty useless on outdoor working). So I've included a couple of collages of our yard. It is not perfect, but it is a work in progress.... my favorite of course are the angels we have collected -feels like a bit of heaven. This first collage is different shots of parts of the front yard. Jim has almost finished the setting in the very front with the white rock, trees, and angels.

This next one is different areas in the back. There is actually a lot still to be done in the back, but again, Jim is working slowly but surely. I think it helps him mentally and spiritually to get outside and work a little. He can only do about an hour at a time, then has to rest in bed for a while, but he is steadfast and things are looking better and better.

Okay- when I first posted this blog, somehow the description of this collage was lost. Very simply- amongst my pictures I downloaded I found these silly faces.... I thought it was funny that Donnie, Carter and I all had these goofy pictures along with the straight pictures. Can't tell we're related can ya?

Well- gonna call it a night for now... posted by a gramma who feels so loved and so very very blessed!

Time- Gets Away From Us- And Is So Precious...

2011-09-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

I have been such a lazy blogger this summer. I got caught up in so much and yet so little and every week I tell myself "I'm gonna post in my blog"- then I get sidetracked and don't get it done. I do think I will start posting even when I don't necessarily have pictures or outstanding events or moments to post about. But to keep a running journal of my life at this time, have it printed each year, and perhaps someday my posterity will read it and gain some insight into where and who they came from and perhaps avoid some of the mistakes and hardships and at the same time share in the joy and triumphs. I also want my children and posterity to know how very much I have loved and leaned on the Lord and my testimony.

    Right now is a particularly challenging time for us. Jim and his daughters are going through some difficulties and he is very hurt and depressed. I write about this because I think it is important for families to know how easy it is to get into conflict and how very little good comes from contention and spite.
     It all started because we heard a rumor that our son in law, Jeff (Genevieve's husband) was telling people that we don't treat Genevieve very well because she reminds us of her mother. Well, we thought that was just so ridiculous- but knowing the source, predictable. Jeff is in many ways a very good person, but in many ways he sits in judgement on the people around him- whether family or not. If someone does not meet his expectations of what he thinks they should be, then he judges them harshly and has a real gift for verbal harranguement. He claims to be close to the spirit and to be looking out for his family's best, but in our opinion, much as we love him, we fear he is off track much of the time-at least in this instance.
      Anyway- in response to this rumor (Jim and I each heard it from different sources)- rather than confront him negatively- I made a really poor choice and posted what I thought to be this innocuous comment on facebook (knowing that a lot of our children read my facebook): "Heard a funny story the other day about a man and a woman who mistreat the man's daughter because she reminds them of his ex.... obviously whoever thinks this doesn't understand the all encompassing and unconditional love a parent has for their child... silly, silly minds...."    I did not mention names or even infer it was my own family I was talking about.
    After that post, several people posted simple comments such as "my son is the spitting image of his dad, yet my husband treats him like his own and loves him like his own...."   "my son even has developed a lot of the same mannerisms as his father, yet his stepfather and I love him"...  to which I commented: Jim and I have a blended family and we love all our kids and grandkids"
      Well then Jeff decided to jump into the commentary and blasted me for airing family business in public (which my facebook is private- only friends and family can see it)- to make a long story short, I removed the post, Jeff then started sending private messages, but each time we tried to answer and make things better he got more and more heated. I'm not very articulate nor eloquent, and I asked him why he was being so vehement and vicious (which made him even more angry) He was quite abusive in his verbage and really ripped into Jim and I on all levels...claimed all Jim's kids feel the same way as he...   when we quit answering on private FB messages, he started sending private e-mails. Ultimately it ended when Jim sent a message to Jeff (copied to all his children) calling Jeff on his lies and his manipulation of the truth.
      At this point, Jim has had words with his younger daughter also. I do not want to go into all that his daughters are saying or feeling, that is too private- but suffice it to say that Jim is hurt to the core and I believe they are hurting also.   The older daughter and her kids have been completely cut off from us per Jeff and I'm not sure where we stand with the younger daughter. I pray they both know how very much we love them and their children.

(I need to insert here that a lot of how Jim is reacting and feeling has also to do with the fact that one of his meds (a very important one for his mental/emotional well-being) has gotten too expensive and he has been without it now for a little over a month. Hopefully we can get this addressed within the next few weeks and even if the family situation hasn't changed, perhaps Jim can get some rest and feel some peace. I also think there are a lot of issues held over from his divorce that he never has addressed or faced. He basically let his children's mother say and do whatever she felt she had to as far as what the kids knew and didn't know. Ultimately, there is a lot of mis-information, some very ugly stories/half-truths/exaggerations that have been let go. I think his exwife is not a terrible person- I think she too tries her best- but divorce sometimes brings out the worst in people- and in her effort to appear in the right, she needed to paint him as a really bad guy. He is not perfect as none of us are- but he is an honorable and wonderful man. He loves his children, he loves me and my children, and he is faithful and strong in the gospel with a tremendous testimony.)
    I am sick at heart. I have prayed and prayed. I have had several counsels with my Bishop and I am following his advice. He advised me to just let things be for now... he said we could choose to believe what Jeff says or not... (I choose not to- I choose not to believe any of our children would think or feel the things he claims about us)... Bishop went on to say all we can do is live the best we know how and trust in the Lord to bring things right. We read some scriptures together which outlined the promises and the hope Heavenly Father has given us in situations like this. I feel hope- I will continue praying and loving those daughters and their families and trust in the Lord to bring things right at some time.

      To end this blog, I want to post a quote that was on our church program a couple of Sundays ago that is so appropriate here:     Elder Marvin J. Ashton taught: "When others disagree with our stand, we should not argue, retaliate in kind, or contend with them....Ours is to explain our position through reason, friendly persuasion, and accurate facts. Ours is to stand firm and unyielding on the moral issues of the day and the eternal principles of the gospel, but to contend with no man or organization. Contention builds walls and puts up barriers. Love opens doors....Contention never was and never will be an ally of progress" (conference report Apr. 1978 or May Ensign May, 1978)

I close now with a prayer for peaceful resolution in my family and for the safety, health and happiness of all our children and grandchildren as well as our extended family.

Summertime & The Livin' Is Crazy!

2011-06-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

It certainly has been crazy weather this year! Spring has sprung back and forth, snow/rain/sunshine- plants growing then freezing! (((Whew!!!))) But it seems we have finally got our warm weather- at least here in Nampa. For the last couple of weeks I have had my annual "spring" cold- a little late this year, just like the sunshine and it has hung on and hung on. I even lost my voice for over a week! Can you imagine a world where I can't talk? Me either...ha ha.
Anyway- since my last post we have had some fun times and some interesting times. Jim's youngest daughter and her family came and stayed from May 26th - May 30th and we had a grand time.
On the 27th- Brooke had to go to St. Luke's hospital to have an EEG done. I was so nervous for her- last time we had to sedate her and hold her down and it was just traumatic for her. This time however was a whole different experience. She was so calm and cooperative! The nurse from the group home brought a big bag of treat/reinforcers, so we were able to get all the electrodes on her head and run the test with very little anxiety! She almost fell asleep during the testing. She actually did fall asleep when the nurse was removing the electrodes and rubbing/scrubbing at her head! Go figure! It was a great relief and I gave great thanks to my Heavenly Father. It was so wonderful to see her this way. And it made it much easier for me to come home to our company and just enjoy the time with them.

She was SO tired when she was done. What a good girl though- love her so so much!
Back to our visitors! Tim & Amanda have 4 kids- Eliza (turning 8 in July); Evie (just turned 5); Phoebe (turning 3 in July); Tommy (just turned 1). Friday night the girls and gramma had a slumber party! I LOVE having slumber parties with my grandkids....I'm sure some day they will outgrow them, but in the meantime I will enjoy every moment I can! Saturday- Tim and Amanda took the kids to the Discovery Center and visiting old friends in Boise. Gramma & Grampa stayed home and rested! Then Sunday we went to church of course- and afterwards, celebrated Evie & Tommy's birthdays. The girls wanted to have another slumber party Sunday night but mom and dad said no..... (prob'ly good thing cuz this gramma was really tired out from all the fun and playing!)
One very lovely thing about this visit was sharing their evening routine. They read the scriptures every night-taking turns. Eliza reads and the other kids "read" with Daddy's help. Then they have personal prayers one by one and finally a family prayer. What a delight- what a moving, tender privilege to share this with them.
It was really hard to pick pictures to post! Between the girls, and I and Grampa we took TONS of pictures...so I once again made a few collages to share. This is NOT all the pics, but a real good sampling of how the visit went. Enjoy!

Posted with love and gratitude!

And Life Goes On

2011-05-23T23:23:00.000-07:00

So, it's been 51 days since my last post! ((Whew!!)) And so much has happened it is hard to put it all in words- but I will try.

Things got really busy in April... after I got home from my visit with Donnie, Katie and the boys it was rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal time with the Boise Master Chorale. We had two absolutely fabulous concert performances the 15th & 16th. We did the music of Carmina Burana with the Boise Philharmonic Orchestra, the College of Idaho choir, and a children's choir from Opera Idaho, along with 3 professional soloists. I can't think of any other time that I was involved in such an exciting, soul moving concert. It was breathtaking!

A few nights before the concerts, however, I received news that my dear Grandma Clark was probably getting close to the end of her days. My first thought was to forego participating in the concerts and rush to be by her side, but after assurances from my sister (Susan) who had been living with Grandma the last year and half, I decided to go early the morning of the 17th.

I had a very interesting, spiritual experience with this concert- as my heart, prayers and thoughts were with my grandma, I felt her near me and decided to dedicate my own performance to her in gratitude for all she has done and been for me. I was able to stand for each performance (in the last year I have had to sit for part of my concerts due to hip/back pain) and when I started to feel like I couldn't stand, I felt my Grandma's spirit there holding and supporting me.

As I was traveling to be with Grandma, there was a bit of complication... My aunt and uncle (George & Ann Lane) who have been looking after her affairs for several years, were making things a little confusing... who should stay, who we should or should not talk to about her condition... it was rather upsetting, but I'm sure everyone was trying to do what they thought best. After Grandma got sick with an infection, Aunt Ann decided she was too sick to have solids and because she was so unsteady, Ann also decided she should be kept in her bed. The first few days were really hard- Grandma kept asking for food and asking to get up- so Susan and I would give her a little bit of milk or juice (she could only handle a swallow or two). We explained to Grandma that she was very weak and we were afraid she would fall again if she tried to get up. Gradually, she weakened more and seemed content to be in bed with us taking turns sitting with her.

We shared some very tender, spiritual moments with her. She was seeing and talking with people from the other side of the veil, so we knew her time was very close. She shared her love and appreciation for each of us- and we with her. When I told her she was my lifelong angel and she saved me all my life, she smiled and remarked, "I think Grandpa had a lot to do with that. He always knew you were special- from the time you were a baby and was determined to teach you that." (And he did)- At one point, she turned to me, holding my hand, and said, "I think I'm going on a journey aren't I?"- I replied, "Yes you are Grandma, a wonderful, beautiful journey where you will be loved, you will be happy and you will be well."

I wept as I said this to her- because I selfishly wanted so bad for her to stay longer. But I also know that she so deserved the rest and peace and joy she would find. She passed on April 27th around 9:30 AM. As I watched her take her last couple of breaths, through the sadness and tears, I felt a strong, peaceful spirit surrounding all of us in the room.
It was definitely what one would describe as a "bittersweet" moment. Oh, Grandma, how I love and how I am missing you!!!

For the funeral Grandma and I had planned for years that I would sing- and I thought I would sing "The Wind Beneath My Wings"- but Uncle George asked me to sing the song I had sung years before at my Aunt Delsa's funeral "I Walked Today Where Jesus Walked"- at first I was disappointed, but when I got my music out, the first thing I noticed was the inscription across the top "To Roxanne from Grandma Clark"- Remembering that she loved to hear me sing this song- the first time I sang it in her ward was in th 70's when I was in high school- I felt an overwhelming sense of "this is the right song"..... I felt her spirit brush my heart again.

A few days after Grandma passed my Uncle Jack passed away. He had been ill and in a nursing home for some time, so although it was not a surprise, it was another heart wrenching experience for our family. My dad will miss his brother, I know. I was unable to go back for Uncle Jack's funeral as Jim needed me home for a while.

I was home for 4 days, then on Monday (the day after Mother's Day), my son Brady called saying his Jade was in the hospital. She was about 32-33 weeks pregnant and her water had broke. So, into my car I hopped and drove back to Pocatello!
Poor Jade- for the first couple of days, they kept her from going into labor- pumped her full of steroids to help the baby develop, and antibiotics to stave off infection....she had one bad reaction and had to start another med.... then finally, on Thursday evening, they decided to re-induce her labor. Hoping the baby's lungs had developed with the aid of the steroids and to reduce the infection risks. She labored all night and all day Friday. I've never seen anyone so strong! Most of Friday as she was having contractions, she was also violently ill and heaving.... Brady was by her side nonstop (as were her parents and I)- and finally, finally, Friday night they realized she was not progressing or dilating, the baby was not dropping and they needed to deliver her by C-Section! So, River Inara Lindsay, was born Friday the 13th at 10:30- She was healthier and bigger than they hoped (4lb 10 oz; 18") and quite quickly was able to breath on her own. To date, however, she is still in the NICU, waiting for her swallowing/eating to improve and to be able to maintain a healthy body temperature outside the warming beds.
What a miracle though! And what a testiment to the circle of life! I'm sure that River and Grandma Clark had time to visit and I'm sure Grandma was able to give River her love and assurances.

And me, well I saw my baby boy become a man right in front of my eyes! It didn't surprise me that he was so loving and tender with Jade all through this, it didn't surprise me that he fell in love with his little daughter instantly- it just surprised me that sometime without me really noticing, he walked into these really big "man" shoes! Oh, he's still the same old Brady with the wry sense of humor and all- but he is indeed a man- and a daddy!

In between & during all this, we had Mother's day with Brooke Anne; and I was able to spend time with Heather & her kids; and see Donnie & Katie at one of Carter's base ball games; AND we had a couple of days with Jon and Katrina and their kids (the 14th & 15th after me "rushing" home after River's birth)- Jon (Jim's oldest son)- was called to be a High Priest and wanted his father to ordain him and knowing how hard it is for Jim to travel, they came here to have it done. It was a very nice visit.... we are so proud of Jon. And I (of course) had a blast with the kids....

Posted by a Gramma who is completely, utterly exhausted but also completely, utterly happy and at peace!

Boys Will Be Boys! And Oh How Fun!

2011-04-02T20:49:00.000-07:00

So- went to spend the weekend with Donnie & Katie and the boys March 24-27. We had so much fun. I was thoroughly entertained non-stop! First of all, I got there after bedtime (I went to my niece's dance program in Pocatello first) and Katie had told the boys that they would have a surprise in the morning. They had NO idea it was Gramma!

Blake was the first to get up- as he walked by the room where I was sleeping he did a double take- grinned from ear to ear and came right in with a good morning hug and we started jabbering away. He said he thought the surprise was going to be something like "shoe laces"...?!?!? How funny, then Carter heard us and came bouncing in! Next was Nash- he jumped right in the middle of Gramma and we all started wrestling around. Last was Haedon- and he was hilarious! He glanced in as he sleepily started walking by the door- stopped dead in his tracks- chin dropped, mouth wide open- loudly said "WHAT!?!?" and then he jumped in the middle of Gramma too! It was a superific way to start our weekend!

Since it was Friday, Blake and Carter had to go to school so I walked them out to the bus. Then Katie's daycare kids came. She had a houseful of preschool aged kiddos and one baby! Whew!! She works hard. So of course Gramma had to play with all the kids. I told them my name was Gramma Gertie! They were all calling me Gramma or Gramma Gertie instantly.

When Blake and Carter came home, we had movie night in their basement. After the movie the three youngest (Carter, Haedon & Nash) were entertaining us with some pretty crazy dancing moves....

As you can see........

Then, after mom and dad went to bed, the party was on... the slumber party that is. I slept on the couch and the boys all slept all around me! We giggled and played until we dropped off to sleep. The next morning Blake and Haedon were the first awake. I went upstairs for a minute and came down to find them watching cartoons or trying to anyway- looked at the clock and told them it wasn't even 5:00 yet! We were kinda being silly about it and then Mom (Katie) came down and made us all go back to bed...he he he!

The funny thing is we all fell instantly back to sleep!

Saturday morning we went to Blake's distrist Pinewood Derby! I've never been to one where there were so many people (probably because it was district)- The track was computerized and each boy got to race his car 8 times (2x in each lane)- I got to see Blake's car twice and he won both times.... (I had to leave to go to Pocatello to get movie tickets from Uncle Brady)- Blake ended up winning first place in the Webelos- which is really nice since it's his last year in Cub Scouts! The thing I think I enjoyed most was watching what a good sport he was. He was encouraging to all the other boys and he was one of the best mannered and behaved boys there! He looks so dang handsome in his uniform too!

Overall, we had a terrific weekend and I am feeling well loved and well blessed! I have made a promise to myself (and to my grandkids) to spend a lot more time with them. I'll be taking turns with all the kids. I also can't wait for them to come visit here so Grandpa can get in on some of the fun and action!
One of the hilights of the weekend was sitting in Church- I drew a funny picture of Blake- cartoonish with big grin full of big teeth! I wrote - "Hi, my name is Blake and my Gramma Wuvs me!"- Blake grinned at it then wrote something on it (I thought it would be silly or sarcastic)- he wrote, "And I love her too"- it was one of those moments so precious- made a deep mark in my heart! He said he was going to save the picture... it will be fun to see if he does!

I took so many pictures - it was hard to pick just a few to blog so I made collages! This last one is just a bunch of fun pictures..... notice how Blake is being mugged/ganged up on by his brothers!

(If you look close at Nash's hand (finger) , you'll see what I meant by "very funny Donnie!) I tell ya! It's hard enough getting a good/serious picture of Donnie, now he's gonna get the kids in on it?!?!? ho ho ho!

Anyway- Thanks kids for everything! I love my family so much and am so grateful for all the joy and love we share. My cup runneth over with blessings!

(if you click on the pictures, you can see them larger! I'm sure most of you know that- but I just figured it out!)

Posted by Gramma Gertie- with love and happiness!

Spring Has Sprung-Cleaning's Begun-Birthday & Grandkid Fun Fun Fun

2011-03-23T23:14:00.000-07:00

Okay- so Spring has NOT really sprung- but I do have a few green leaves and buds in my flower beds and on my rose bushes.

Last weekend (18th & 19th) Jim's son Justin, his wife Nikki and our two grandsons Tanner and Tyler came to visit. For an "early birthday" gift to Jim, they helped us with a couple of long overdue projects in the house!

Justin started the decluttering/re-organizing of Jim's gun storage room and make him a built in reloading station. He re-inforced the shelves so Jim can store whatever he needs or wants in there. It is amazing how much "junk" you can cram into a space. We threw away several bags of stuff, took down several plastic shelving units and there is still a lot to do! But there is room to move around and I think Jim is really going to enjoy it!

Then Nikki decluttered and organized the "toy room"... we have this big bonus room over the garage that has been used as a catch-all room, guest bedroom and as the play room for the kids. Over the years we had collected quite a bit of toys in a bunch of rubbermaid type containers and boxes. She went through the toys and got rid of the broken/destroyed/useless items and all the other stuff that had made it's way up there. Y'know- that room is quite large and roomy. We bought some drawer/storage units and separated the toys into the drawers so the kids can play with a drawer ful and hopefully put those toys away before getting out another drawer ful!

I think my next project up there will be to get some of that "chalkboard paint" and paint a couple of huge squares on the walls for the kids to draw on with chalk. Also- I've GOT to get some kind of decorations on the walls now... it looks so bare!

I also made a cake to surprise Jim and the boys had a lot of fun helping him with the candles. I was a little disappointed- I bouth "sparkler" candles and they didn't work very well- just a couple of splutters here and there! But the kids loved it! Especially Tanner- we wrote Happy Birthday Grampa in green - which is Tanner's favorite color.

We had a blast playing with the kids... or rather Tanner and I had a blast playing. Ty is pretty mellow and he was pretty happy just hanging out with Grampa. Tanner and I played ball, wrestled, built a castle, bowled, and played "Zombies"-- they have a computer game called Plants Vs. Zombies which Tanner loves, but I do think he loved role playing it with Gramma way more! One of us would be a Zombie- coming after the other one saying "BRAINS--BRAINS!"- we used balls as the peashooters to kill each other-- but Tanner was a good Zombie, he made it to Gramma several times and ate my brains...hee hee!

It really was a fabulous weekend and hopefully we can share more with them and with our other kids and grandkids. It's really great when they come here as Jim can't travel much yet he SO loves to see them!

I took so many pictures I couldn't decide what to post- so I made a few collages and here they are! Wonderful, wonderful memories!

The boys hangin' out with Grampa & Gramma

Here are just a very few of the fun pictures of the boys playing.

I didn't realize how much bigger this room is now that it is organized! Nikki did a super

job - she is superwoman when it comes to cleaning and organizing!

I can't show you all of Jim's gun room (for security reasons at his request)-

but here is the reloading station Justing set up.

We feel so blessed by all our children and grandchildren. We have a wonderful family- we share a wonderful life- if we could change anything it would be Jim's health and we can't wait for this crazy economy to pick back up so we can sell our house and move to Pocatello to be closer to everyone!

Posted by a tired out Gramma (who's setting out tomorrow to see more grandkids!) with love.

Pondering Agency- My Choices- My Life- "And All is Well"

2011-03-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

I can remember a time, when my children were young, and it was the week for High Council speakers at church some of the people I knew would refer to it at "dry council" Sunday. We would all laugh and go to church, spending most of the Sacrament meeting time trying to keep our kids occupied and/or quiet. I always felt so blessed as mine for the most part were very reverent. Good thing, as I had my hands full keeping Brooke Anne from totally disrupting the meeting. We had wonderful wards though and she was accepted just as she is.

Anyway- today was High Council day. I am now in the stage of life where I thoroughly enjoy these men and the wisdom and love and inspiration with which they speak. Both speakers talked about agency; choice; and how these gifts shape our lives. I took notes (I actually do that now quite often at church as was suggested by our Stake President a few months ago) and as I listened and jotted my thoughts down, I had an epiphany- which I will share in a minute.

First of all I want to share some of what was said. Regarding choice-choice, or agency, is a gift that we were given not only in this life, but even before we came here. Lucifer was not cast out because of his plan, but rather he "chose" to rebel when his plan was rejected by the Father. On the other hand, Jesus "chose" to be the Savior. He was not forced- He chose. I don't think I ever quite looked at it in that light before. Then all of us "chose" which path we would take. In the scriptures we are taught that God will force no soul to Heaven... God is deeply serious about human joy and He has given us all we need to make righteous choices; the Holy Ghost, our families, prayer, the scriptures... many tools are at our hands. Yet agency is not an easy thing.. we refer to those first choices as the "war in Heaven"- and as such, we are fighting our own war here each day as make choices... some minor every day choices and some choices with eternal consequences.

The second speaker talked about the three "R's" of choice: 1- Right of choice- we were all given the right to make our own choices... it is an unconditional gift. 2- Responsibility- with this gift comes great responsibility to make clear, righteous choices if we want to return to Heavenly Father. 3- Results- each choice comes with it's results or consequences. Analogy- a stick is like choice and consequence...you cannot pick up just one end of it, once you pick it up you are stuck with both the choice and the consequence. Some consequences may require hard work to overcome, repentance. Some consequences will bring eternal joy.

So anyway, as I said- in the midst of these talks and writing down my thoughts, I had this epiphany. I have long lamented that choices made by others took away my choices. I felt cheated- specifically when Donovan and Kris made their choices and it completely changed the path of my life and the lives of my children. As I have worked through this over the years, I have tried to live the best I can and yet no matter what I felt like I had failed at the most important duty we are given... family and marriage. Oh I knew that I could still live the gospel and even have found joy beyond what I ever imagined...I have long forgiven them and accept that I will always love them both... I just couldn't shake this niggling feeling of failure. Then today, like a beautiful flower slowly opening, or a cloud lighting up with beautiful colors, my mind and heart were filled with this message. Yes- others made choices that affected my life- but I CAN still choose the right myself and by doing so, I have not failed. I can't really begin to put into words how this message came to me ... it was like a gentle, yet soul shaking carress or whispered shout.... direct spirit to spirit communication from Heavenly Father to me. Even now as I type this I have tears welling up as my heart and spirit swell again with confirmation and I hear the sounds of the song "All is Well" from a CD Mike gave me when we got engaged. I wish I could put that song on my playlist here, but alas it is not offered in the program (at least I can't find it). I have not felt this, this magnitude of spirit communication since I was in the temple and was given answers regarding Brooke Anne. Here I am, this very common, everyday person... and yet God has blessed me with these magnanimous moments of comfort, joy and answered some of my deepest questions and fears. "And All is Well"....

So now I carry this into my everyday life and I have some choices to make. First of all I am choosing to work even harder on forgiving, to pray more ferventy and more often and for my own spirit as well as for those who I have worked to forgive. I am going to express my gratitude more deeply and more often for the people in my life that bring such joy and love and blessings.... And. I am choosing to get over my feelings of failure and accept myself as I am... "And All is Well"

In closing tonight- I just have to mention the love and joy I have with Jim. I love him- with all he has to suffer and go through, he is amazing. His love for me and my children fills me with gratitude.... especially his love and acceptance for Brooke Anne. She loves him so...... "And All is Well"....

Posted by a soul humbled and grateful for the love of Heavenly Father and Jesus and all I have been blessed with.

Oh How I Lo-ove To Sing!

2011-03-06T21:38:00.000-08:00

This fall I joined the Boise Master Chorale (now known as Boise Philharmonic Master Chorale). We have around 100 singers! It has been such an amazing experience. I have missed singing with Camerata so much since moving from Pocatello... and although I don't quite have the same bond of love and friendship as Camerata (more like a family to me than anything)- it is delightful sharing classical music with such an awesome choir. Our director is the director of choirs at Boise State University and he is really, really good. He is fun and I am learning so much from him. I just adored Scott Anderson, the director of Camerata, I didn't know how it would be singing for another director. But it is just as musically fulfilling and he is just as fun. I haven't gotten into the tradition of going out to a restaurant/club each week following practice as a big group of members do- it's kinda hard since I live about 20 miles away. Not like going to Buddy's each week after Camerata.

This is the back wall of the Balcony at the Methodist Church in Boise, The Cathedral of The Rockies where we performed with the Boise Baroque Orchestra today. All the windows in the building were beautiful and acoustics were fabulous. After each number the hall just rang - practically breathed with the sound.

I have been thinking today about my love of music. I'm not an avid, educated musician- I know tons of music but couldn't really tell you the names or composers like some people can. I just know I have been blessed with this love that is so deep and so resonant in my heart and soul. A friend once asked me how I could "stand" opera music or classical music and I tried to explain but he just didn't get it. How do you verbally explain the visceral warmth and swelling of your heart to this music to someone who doesn't feel it and probably never will? I told him listening or participating in classical music or opera filled my whole being with joy....

I believe some people were created and destined to compose amazing, eternally enduring music- such as Handel's Messiah, and some of us were created and blessed with the pure love and ability to soak in that music - to let that music define the color of our hearts and spirits.

I also believe that though we lovers of music may not ever gain notoriety or fame- we are so much more blessed (and thankful) for this gift than the world may ever know. I believe that some of us were there, singing with the angels to herald the birth of Christ. I believe we will be singing again in heaven among the angels and the great composers of all times.

I see this love of music in my children- they may have different musical taste in some ways, but they too have been blessed with spirits open to the message and peace of music. I like to imagine us singing side by side at Christ's birth and through eternity.

Here are a few more of the pictures Jim took today- I was hoping for a picture of the entire choir and orchestra, but here's what we got... (my sweet husband does not take the best pictures, but at least he is there, always loving and supporting me.... in fact tonight when I thanked him again for being there he got quite emotional (teary) and told me how much he loves seeing me living my dream)....

This is me and a friend from choir. Her name is Carol and she just came up and asked us to take a picture with her. She's really nice and interesting. She has shared some really cool stuff about her heritage... some personal writings and items. I just love her! I am glad to be her friend (a couple of the ladies are not very nice to her... they are obviously wealthy and a little uppity, but I'm sure they'll come around....)

This next picture is one Jim took during a part where I and about 5 other ladies were singing. It was a part for "a few, angelic voices".... I was pretty excited to be one of the angels.... we all know how I LOVE angels!

These last couple of pictures show a little more of the group and a little of the orchestra.... and

a little more of the beauty of the building.

I want all my children and grandchildren to know that a big part of me is the love of music... and it is my fervent hope that they all develop that love and they are able to experience the pure joy of music in their lives.

posted by a "singing Gramma"

Growing "Older" Pains...

2011-02-27T20:59:00.001-08:00

So this past week has been a bit challenging. Jim had a physical for the first time in years (the first since we've been married)- Yeah, he sees pain doctors all the time and has been in for colds and "stuff"- but this was an actual physical.

He also had a sleep study done, recommended by his pain care doctor because he has basically exhausted all sleep aids/medicines to no avail.

The major things we have found so far is that his cholesterol is sky high (no surprise for all of us who know and love him)... he LOVES his junk food! He's seeing our primary doctor about that tomorrow.

Then, the sleep study showed two things going on with him. First of all his oxygen is dangerously low. He will be getting some oxygen to use within the next couple of days. Second- he averages 50 apnea episodes an hour when he is "sleeping".... (you call THAT sleeping!?).... so he will be fitted with a CPap machine. Guess we'll look like twinners when we sleep...he he. His and Hers sleep hoses!

Anyway- all this has made me look at our lives and how we eat and what we do and we have both decided it is past time to work on our health. I have already started back on the NutriSystem diet that was so successful for me before with my doctor's complete support and blessing! Jim is working on cutting back a little at a time. I'm sure after he sees our doctor tomorrow he will be told he'll have to make some major dietary changes. He eats a lot of candy and ice cream and not much meat or protein. He likes tacos, pizza, potatoes... you know all that stuff that we should be avoiding. (Me?- I love hamburgers, pasta, and fried chicken... gonna hafta give 'em up though)-- we'll only allow ourselves to indulge once in a great while. At least that is the plan. Jim is already struggling.... but we'll keep working on it. We have so many grandchildren and such wonderful family---we want to make our lives as quality and LONG as possible!

On a different note... we had ward conference today and I swear the Stake Presidency talks were aimed right at me! They were wonderfully moving and inspiring. I am making it a goal to "dive back into my spirituality" --- read the scriptures more--- pray more consistently--- and work to become the me I am meant to be! I think I have gotten a little lazy about spirituality- kinda riding along on my testimony without really working at it. I have truly been blessed in my life and I want to dedicate more time and effort and thought to showing my gratitude to my Heavenly Father.

The RS president asked about my dad today and about Brooke and about Jim and she said she is amazed that I stay so cheerful with all that is going on... and I realized that I really have been blessed with an ability to be cheerful and see the positive. This is a gift given to me following a long road of trials and challenges and not saying I still don't get down or have negative thoughts or feelings from time to time, but overall I AM happy. And THAT is truly what life is about. I love life! This has been a kind of epiphany- this realization of the joy that is in my heart and soul. I remember a time thinking I would never feel joy or happiness again... and praying so hard for Heavenly Father's guidance and patience.... and He has blessed me... I think it has been happening a little at a time for several years now and it just took me a while to understand and recognize the work of His hands.

And what better stage of life to recognize such joy than this stage of being a gramma.... I grew up thinking I was born to be a mom and oh how I have loved being a mom, but being a gramma is a whole new world and I absolutely LOVE IT!

My two oldest grandchildren- Blake and Mikey (a few years ago) We have older ones on Jim's side- but these were the first two in my life- they're only a couple months apart in age and their coming into my life changed my outlook and my heart in ways I could never imagine! Love you to pieces boys!!! Love ALL the grandkids to pieces!!

Well- 'til next week.... posted by a grateful gramma and daughter of Heavenly Father.

On The Lighter Side.....

2011-02-20T21:53:00.000-08:00

So- my last post was a little heavy so for today I'm just going to post a bunch of random pictures from the events of the past few months... or at least going back to Christmas. It's been fun going through my pictures and relishing the life moments I've had and shared with so many.

This first one is just from last night... I had been putting off doing anything with my hair for a while because I was first- not wanting to spend the money to go to a salon and second- afraid of what I might end up with. I mean over the last couple few years I've had everything from silver blonde to bright red to neon yellow to brown... and the only one that was on purpose was the brown! It seemed to be more of what my natural/roots wanted to be, but I just don't feel like me with brown hair. And it really doesn't make me look any more like my daughters like I hoped it would... So, when I got out the color last night (actually Jim had bought for me a couple of months ago)- I just figured what the heck! About the only thing it could do to surprise me would be to turn green or something. But lo and behold! It actually turned out the color I was hoping for (and had tried for many times). So, hopefully if I use this color each time it will work out.

Last week we had a girls' get together. My sister-in-law, Barb invited me to join this circle of friends for crafts and lunches when I first moved to Nampa. Our numbers have slightly dwindled as a couple of ladies moved out of state- but we still manage to get together pretty much every month. We draw names for Christmas, celebrate all our birthdays and do crafts at each other's houses off and on. This month we celebrated the baby of the group's birthday. Cheryl (she's the brunette on the left side). Her sister was here from Texas (the blonde behind her) and then there's Barb, me, Leslie and Marcia. We were missing one lady that still lives here but we had a blast. Went to a place called Tucano's Brazilian Grill. This group of ladies has been so fun and just welcomed me into their circle with arms and hearts wide open.

This next picture is of me and some of the young women from my ward. Last winter they did an "adopted grandma" project and I was one of the adoptees. Oh how my kids got a kick out of that.. and yes, I was actually the youngest adopted Grandma but it has been a blast. They come around every once in a while to check in with us Grandma's and we have been invited to a couple of dinners with them at church. They even asked me to sing at their last Standards night. I love these girls so much. The girl on the far right has become like another daughter to me. She and her sister and dad let me sit with them at church when Jim is at home so I don't have to be alone. I am a pretty happy grandma- these girls are like a bonus on top of my 29 grandkids!

I don't very often get to the grandkids birthdays.... so I either mail them something or take something on my closest trip to their birthdays. I asked Mikey if he wanted me to mail him something or wait until I came to visit and he decided to wait for next visit. I went to Poky with Barb to do some things for our mother-in-law and took Mikey out shopping and to eat. When I asked him where he'd like to eat he said "BUDDY'S"! I was thrilled as that happens to be one of my favorite places in Pocatello. So we get there and he orders a WHOLE salad... hee hee! 'Course we took a lot of leftover salad home with us! He loved his toy and we had fun... the best part for me was when he said, "Gramma, I really love the toy you bought me, but I love YOU more!"---

A few weeks ago I went to Bear Lake to see my parents and my grandma. Every time I see my grandma I am in awe. She is over 101 years old!!! And just look at how beautiful she is. I have been asked if I know her secret and I always answer it is the pure love in her heart and her pure spirit. She radiates gentle love and peace and has all my life. I know she won't be here much longer, but oh- I just don't think I'll ever be ready for her to go. I have strived all my life to live up to the person she and my grandpa thought I could be... maybe someday I'll get there. I only know that I would not be who I am without the love and guidance they gave me.

Christmas this year was a blast---- was a journey of work, worry, fun, and love. We have so many kids (10 with 8 of them married and 1 with a serious girlfriend) and so many grandkids- 29 (will be 30 this June)--- that we have to plan/buy/save for Christmas pretty much year round. We have a deal that I get to buy for the grown up girls and Jim gets to buy for the boys- but this year (and last year) Jim had to get his part in with the girls. But that's okay, cause I pretty much pick out for the grandkids although he's right there giving his approval. I am pretty proud of myself- these last two Christmases I have stayed right in the budget Jim set and we haven't charged for over two years now. (I surely do struggle cause if I could I would probably spend hundreds on each grandkid...(((sigh))) oh well, at least I don't have to budget how much love I give them!

I tried to get pictures of all the gifts under the tree before we went to Pocatello, but it was hard! I think I got most of them in these two pictures though.

We got some huge stuffed animals for a bunch of the grandkids...some of the older ones, especially the boys got games or transformers. Then I put some treats and trinkets in some small stockings for each of them. It was great fun! The grownup boys got ammo from Jim and the grownup girls got ornaments, fuzzy socks, mini all-in-one tools and odds and ends from me.

This is Molly with one of the stuffed animals... a pink pig with a baby pig! She loved it!

Some of the grandkids on Jim's side made up a little Christmas skit to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Led by Eliza- she make the sign and made noses, antlers and tails for all the participants. It was so dang cute.

Ya gotta love this sign she made!

This is Eliza - modeling the antlers and nose she made. So clever for a second grader!

This is one of my favorite pictures of Christmas. Jim looking so happy and relaxed with Carter and Scooter! The traveling is so hard on him- but he ignores the pain as much as possible so he can enjoy the kids and grandkids!

I took Brooke Anne to see my folks. It had been so long since she got to see her Granny and Grampa! She was so good, but before the visit was over she started getting sick. (You can tell in this picture)... but she loved on them and kissed them and munched on their goodies of course! I'm so glad she got to see them- I'm especially glad my grandma got to see her if only for a few minutes. (by the time we got to Grandma Clark's she was really feeling bad and just wanting to stay in the car and sleep).

This picture is another one of my favorites. Molly just came over to me and leaned on my knee. She said I love you Gramma and then I snapped this picture. It is so very precious to me. I love all my grandkids so much and these moments are truly the best!

I got to have breakfast with Brady and his girlfriend Jade and his "best buddy" April. Jade is having his baby and they are so very happy together. I told them I found some pink fleece with skulls on it and could make them a baby blanket.... they laughed. Jade said their baby was going to be really confused between them... cause Jade loves rainbows and Brady loves black..... so it will be a fun, fun journey- yes?

Jade on the left with "rainbow" hair, Brady in middle, and April on the right.

Okay- this last picture was a must-post! Seriously, I think it will be important for my posterity to see exactly what kind of grandmother I really am! sooooooooooo- drum rollllllll...............

get ready............................................. keep scrolling down....................

it's............................................ ROBO GRAMMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted by a crazy-lovin'-grateful- mom and gramma!!!

Forgiving and Forgetting - a work in progress

2011-02-13T20:10:00.000-08:00

So, I promised myself to blog every Sunday and here I am not prepared with any fun pictures or anything.... but I have been thinking a lot about the hard work involved in forgiving and forgetting. Through scripture research, soul search, prayer and much pondering and referring to the wise words of Bill McKee (my wonderful friend and counselor) I came to realize the following.
First of all- forgiving does not mean condoning or accepting the behavior of another. I was stuck for a long time thinking if I forgave the ones who had so deeply betrayed and hurt me and my children that I was somehow letting myself and my sense of truth and righteousness down. Looking at it now, I am amazed what a grip the adversary had on my heart - through trickery and using my own sense of right and wrong. Also- it is not necessary to wait for an apology (that may never come) to forgive someone. And it is true- after diligently seeking and praying to forgive I did finally reach a point where there is peace in my heart. I have learned to pray in love and compassion for those who I needed to forgive. I found it is impossible to harbor anger and hurt towards someone I was praying for. I have been blessed with the ability to accept that I love these people regardless of all that happened and I am a much happier person because I have accepted that.
This may seem simple to a lot of people, but when you are in the midst of despair and pain, you can loose sight of the simple principles. It is at these times we need to lean heavily on the love of our Savior and Heavenly Father in order to work through it all.
Next- forgetting doesn't mean "forgetting" . I was really stuck on this one... I mean, how do you forget? The way we forget is by learning to live well in spite of the pain or betrayal. We forget by not holding onto the anger and hurt. Yes, these experiences, this pain will always be a part of who we are, but we can live beyond the bad stuff by taking stock of the joy and all the blessings we are granted. This came to me in a sweet moment of personal revelation and it was as though a great weight lifted off my shoulders. My heart sang with joy when I found that I could forgive and that I could forget in the sense of living my life as well as I possibly can.
Now- once I achieved my goal to forgive I thought I was home free... oh so wrong! Forgiving is a continual work in progress. It is easy to let a moment of doubt or a perceived slight send you spiraling right back down into pain and despair...and resentment. The first time it hit me (after thinking I had finally been able to forgive and move on)- my heart sank and I despaired that I was somehow doomed to be this sad-angry-hurt person forever. Then again, through prayer and beseeching the Lord, I found the sweet sense of forgiveness and realized that just because you overcome or accomplish something once doesn't mean you can fall back and let that carry you. Being Christ-like, being a person of joy and love and forgiveness is something that takes constant work, dedication and a lot of "self-talk"... as Bill used to say, "change the tape in your head"... and believe me, that old Satan will constantly hammer at those tender spots in your heart and spirit-I can go along for a year or so thinking I'm in this great place and WHAM!- something happens that brings it all boiling up again- these are the times I turn to Heavenly Father on my knees asking for His forgiveness and guidance so I can find my peace again.... and I am reminded of one of my favorite songs that says--- we should be more gentle with ourselves- accept that we are on a mortal journey and when we slip a little, the hand of the Savior is just a prayer away.
Finally, I know that I want to live with joy and I want to deserve the forgiveness and compassion of others towards me, and to achieve that how can I myself not be forgiving and compassionate towards others? And so my goal in life is to be a "bringer of joy" and to extend love (and forgiveness when necessary) to all. After all- we are all God's children- yes? It's up to Him to judge- up to us to love.
Bye til next week! :)

July Fun In Pictures!! Great Memories!

2010-08-13T13:48:00.000-07:00

Heather and kids came to stay for a few days. It was so fun and I just didn't want them to ever leave! Me 'n Mailei had a wonderful visit... we did some fun things... and this Gramma can't wait for the next grandchild to come and stay! "We had joy, we had fun....."

Donnie & Katie's kids are crazy fun! They really think it's fun to

wear Gramma's glasses and look like nerds! What a hoot!

Amanda's new baby- Tommy- and the girls and Heather's kids.

All my siblings and my parents!

Donnie Toomer; Liana Gutierrez; Brenda Spensley; Me; Susan Halterman

Douglas Freeman; Michael Rose; Mom (Mary Toomer); Daddy (Blake toomer)

I think my big orange shades were a hit! But check out all the others too!

Boy the kids all had a blast!

There were never such devoted sisters--- hee hee

Me - Tara - Liana - Clara Lee - struttin' our stuff!

AAARGHH!!!!

2010-08-13T08:56:00.000-07:00

I have been trying and trying to post pictures for July but this darn thing just won't download them for some reason.... July was a fantabulous busy fun fun month.... hopefully will get pictures posted soon! Here is a brief outline of all the activities!

Heather & kids came for a few days the weekend of the 10th! It is so wonderful for Jim and I when our kids can make it here to visit!

Mailei stayed with us after Heather went home for another 4 days- we painted and had so much fun... and Mailei bonded with Scooter.

On the 17th, my younger sister Susan was sealed to my parents in Idaho Falls Temple... I went, Heather went, Donnie & Katie went.

I stayed with Donnie & Katie over the weekend of the 17th (had a blast!)

Heather and I visited Amanda and kids too! (In between all this other "stuff"!)

On the 24th we had the first Blake & Mary Toomer (my mom and dad) reunion at Bear Lake... all 6 of my siblings were there... tons of kids and grandkids... we had so much fun and plan to do this every year (I hope)......

And well now- we're well into August and I'm still fighting with posting pictures.... hope everyone else is having a great summer!

2010-07-06T22:03:00.000-07:00

So- here it is another month gone by. And again we have been blessed many times over. On June 13th our 28th grandchild was born. A little boy- Thomas Dennis O'Connor. His parents are Tim and Amanda (she is Jim's youngest daughter). They have 3 girls already so they are extremely happy to have this little guy join their family- we all are!

For the 4th of July weekend we traveled to Pocatello to celebrate Mom Witt's birthday and Tommy's blessing. What a weekend we had!

First of all on Saturday Heather took our Subaru to Walmart for a new tire- while there the battery died and they tried to charge it up, but to no avail. The good news was it was a Walmart battery still under warranty so it was replaced. Heather got there a little after 9:00AM and was still there when we got to town around 12:30- so Jim dropped me off to wait for the car with her. It took about another half hour, then when we paid they over charged us-- and it took another 30 minutes or so for them to get it fixed. FINALLY- we got to Great Grandma's birthday party a little after 2:00 (it started at 2:00).

The party was great fun! We saw 24 of our 28 grandkids! We rarely get that many in one place these days so it was a wonderful treat...especially since it is so hard for Jim to travel. Two of Jim's brothers and their wives were there with more kids and grandkids- so all in all it was a fabulous party!

We got up Sunday and got ready to go to Idaho Falls for Tommy's blessing and on our way out of town we got another flat tire! This time on our Honda! (And don't ya just hate those donut spares- can't go more than a few miles on them) We got it over to Walmart and we ended up putting on 2 tires. We had recently put 2 on the front and were told besides the one that was flat (& totally ruined)- the other one on the back probably wouldn't make it 10 miles it was so threadbare.... BUMMER!!! We had not budgeted for the extra car expenses this month but what do ya do?

By the time everything was fixed we had completely missed the blessing- we were so disappointed! We went back to Jim's mom's so he could lay down for a while then headed home with both cars. Jim was nervous about the Subaru making it (it has other problems)- so we never went over 65 mph...UGH!!! Long, long, long drive! But we made it home and Monday we just kinda vegged! hee hee

Looking back at our weekend I have to chuckle... it is just like life. No matter how meticulously you may plan things- sometimes you get things thrown at you unexpectedly and you gotta roll with the throw! But beyond all the trials or all the surprises- you can always count on the Lord to send blessings and silver linings. And if you stack them up side by side- the blessings will always tower over the struggles...

I know- I know- sometimes it is very hard to see that- but through perseverence, faith, prayer, and patience- the truth will come shining through.

Sheesh!!- I kinda got off track, but that's what I do best! Anyway- here are a few random pictures from this weekend (I couldn't possibly post them all!) Enjoy!

This is the newest addition to the family- Tommy Heather - Maddy- and Molly- fun in the water and the sun! Katrina and Tabitha- 2nd youngest- born in Dec. Kyriahna and Jolanna - loving sisters

Tanner- throwing ball at Gramma- saying you can't take my picture!

Sam and Mikey- getting along for once! Notice however they are pinching each other's shoulders! Typical boys they are!

Memorial Day

2010-06-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

Another Memorial Day has come and gone.... my mind struggles to comprehend that it has been 11 years since Mike passed away. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday- and sometimes it seems like forever ago. Life has been full of blessings and love for me, with my sweet husband, Jim and all our kids and grandkids, but I do still miss Mike. I guess I always will.

Anyway- here are some pics and some memories from this Memorial Day- 2010---

Remembering Mike- decorating with his favorite colors- red and white- coca cola colors!
Rest well my sweet and I'll "See You In The Morning" ....

My sister Liana and I went to Bear Lake to do some work for our mom. We took Jaimen and Mikey to help out. Our plan was to clean out her room (she's border-line hoarder I swear), but we only managed to get about a box and a half of her "stuff" cleaned out. She has so many little knick knacks and memorabilia (Elvis, Tweety, bowling, etc.) She had fallen a couple weeks earlier into her closet and it scared us all, so hopefully now she can move around and even rest a little easier. We cleaned and dusted and vacuumed and set up a new bed Dad got her for her birthday. It was fun, but exhausting and time well spent!

This is Daddy (Grampa Toomer) posing with the boys. Mikey had a great time visiting with his older cousin.... he has always looked up to Jaimen. Both the boys were really good- I'm glad we had them with us. Liana and I of course loved spending time together!

And this is Mikey with Mom (Gramma Toomer). I think seeing us and the boys really cheered her up. She was a little feisty about her room- but since Liana and I are "bigger" than her we got enough accomplished- hee hee. Seriously- she was kinda having a hard time, but we convinced her to declutter so she could get around easier. I only wish we could have boxed up lots more!

Monday morning Mailei and I met Brady for breakfast at Butter Burrs.... we had a blast. I am so happy with Brady these days. I mean I always have been, but he is looking so much happier and more at peace since moving back to Pocatello. He is a good young man and my prayer is that someday he will remember how special he is and return to activity in the Church. It does make me really happy though that he has what he calls a really "good relationship" with Heavenly Father.

The only down side of the weekend was not having time with Donnie, Katie and the boys. They went to Island Park and although I was hoping to have time with them it just didn't work out. Hopefully I can get down there soon and spend a couple days just with them!!! I miss my boys-need to have a "gramma date" with them!

I also need to find time with our kids on Jim's side - there just is never enough time when I travel these days. We're hoping to get Jim's car back home so he's not just "stuck" here when I go, then I can take a little more time with my trips.... (((sigh)))

Well-gonna go for now- posted with love by a very grateful gramma!

Procrastination!

2010-05-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

Yup-it's been a few months since I blogged. I am the world's worst (or maybe "best") procrastinator! So-to get back in the swing of things I thought I'd start with something fun and simple.
One of my favorite things to do with grandkids when they visit is go to Chucky Cheese. I LOVE it-and I think they kinda like it too- hee hee.
Anyway-here are some pictures of a couple of visits...enjoy.... the most recent are with Donnie & Katie's boys-Blake, Carter, Haedon and Nash just this last April. Following those are pictures with Heather & Mike's kids... Mikey, Mailei and Maddy in 2008. (Hey Heather- we need to get Molly to Chucky Cheese for a picture with Gramma!)

It's just so fun! I just love building moments and memories with my grandkids- what more could anyone ask for? My cup does indeed runneth over with abundance and the wealth of family love!

A New Year - A New Decade!

2010-01-17T14:49:00.000-08:00

So- 2009 has come and gone and what a year it was! Probably the most significant event of the year was my Gramma Clark turning 100 on the 4th of September. Still going strong - although her mind wanders a bit, she is basically healthy and very happy. As I've said so often before- she is and always has been my hero- the "wind beneath my wings". I've been so blessed to have her as my Gramma- her strength, her love, her guidance- her kind, patient assurance has been an anchor throughout my life. I love her so much.

Here she is on her birthday with my other hero, my beautiful daughter, Heather.

We also had a couple more baptisms-(that makes 8 out of 27 grandkids)- Alex (our oldest granddaughter) was chosen to participate in the National Special Olympics this coming July- some of our kids faced the upheaval of job changes- and we topped the year off by adding a new grandbaby on the 9th of December! Tabitha Grace Witt joined her family of Dad (Jon), Mom (Katrina) and 4 brothers (Sam, Jacob, Ben and Aaron)- it will be interesting to watch her grow! It' so fun watching them all grow!

This is Tabitha- isn't she a beauty?

My mom struggled a lot this past year with her health. It has been scary for her and for all of us who love her so much. Here's hoping 2010 will bring her strength, health and all the joy she so deserves at this stage and age of her life. (Love you Mom!)

I would say this year has also been one of spiritual growth for me. I have learned to appreciate so much the many, many blessings in my life. I have pondered, studied and gained a new perspective on my own purpose and mission here in this life. (I have a lot of work to do there)

Although I struggle accepting or coming to terms with my age- (that number REALLY doesn't compute)- I am thoroughly enjoying this stage of life called gramma. I can't even imagine what life would be without my grandchildren. Getting to know them each- their own personalities and quirks- is a joyous journey which I hope to last many, many more years!

So- come on 2010! Come on new decade! Let's play and laugh and work and live this wonderful, wonderful life!

Brooke's Poem- from her Aunt Clara

2009-12-03T16:42:00.000-08:00

HEAVEN’S VERY SPECIAL CHILD

A meeting was held quite far from Earth.
It was time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the Lord above-
“This special child will need much love.”
“Her progress may be very slow,
Accomplishment she may not show.”
“And she’ll require extra care-
From the folks she meets down there.”
“She may not run or laugh or play,
Her thoughts may seem quite far away.”
“So many times she will be labeled
‘Different,’ helpless’ and disabled.”
“So let’s be careful where she’s sent."
"We want her life to be content.”
“Please, Lord, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.”
“They will not realize right away
The leading role they are asked to play.”
“But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith, and richer love.”
“And soon they’ll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from heaven.’
“Their precious charge, so meek and mild
Is heaven’s very special child.”

Brooke lovin on mom- Thanksgiving 2009

It's Christmas Time!

2009-11-26T18:13:00.000-08:00

Deck the Halls! Joy to the World!

Thoughts of Thanksgiving

2009-11-23T23:12:00.001-08:00

My heart is so full as I sit and ponder the bounty of love, joy and blessings unmeasured in my life. I have had such a wondrous relationship with my Heavenly Father. Even in the times when my life path detoured from the straight and narrow..... even in the times when I thought I was all alone.... even in the times when sorrow, fear, anger, despair seemed to be all consuming. And most especially in times of joy and celebration. From the time I was a young child, I have been in constant "conversation" with Heavenly Father... asking, seeking, sharing, and giving thanks.

During this time of Thanksgiving I am reminded of all that is good and right and well in my life and in the lives of those I love. In spite of the struggles we all face, His love and assurance is all around us. We only have to open our hearts- we only have to drink from the well- and we will know He is here.

To all our children, grandchildren, siblings, parents, friends, neighbors, brothers and sisters in the gospel- thank you for all you bring to my life and into the life of my sweetheart. To those who care for my special daughter, Brooke Anne- thank you and may God bless you. To all who have touched my life- past, present and in the future- thank you from my heart.

And most of all- I thank my Father in Heaven- for with Him, "nothing is impossible" if we just reach and take his hand.

Happy Thanksgiving with Love!

October- Fun- Spooky- Yummy- And All That Jazz!

2009-11-07T12:41:00.000-08:00

A month you might call a mixed bag of blessings and experiences.
FIRST- I came down with my annual "Fall cold"- ugh! It never fails, every year it comes like clockwork. Maybe next year I'll skip it ('course I say that every year!). My mom was in the hospital again and since I had a cold I couldn't go see her. She is still really struggling with learning to cope with her Crohn's. Right now she is staying with my sister Liana in Pocatello. Hopefully a little TLC will get her back on her feet.

THEN- one of the girls (Kristen) that lives in the same group home as Brooke was hospitalized! She had a grand mal seizure that dislocated her shoulder and broke her jaw, caused a blood clot, and some bleeding in her brain... poor thing. They thought for a few days she might have meningitis-but thankfully it wasn't that. She has all these complications-all due to the seizure- but for now she is home and doing better.

THEN- on a brighter note- I got together with 2 of my sisters. We have been trying to have a sisters' day/evening out for the last few years and it is a blast! We have kind of made it a tradition to go to Red Lobster in Pocatello. As you can see- we may be getting older, but we still know how to have a good time. I love my sisters so much- life is certainly full when you have family to share it with-yes?

Liana is just 15 months older than me and Brenda is a little older :)- but we have always been very close. Growing up we loved, fought, protected, and did everything together.

THEN- the really fun part! I went to my mother-in-law's (Great Gramma Witt) for Halloween. I go each year to help her hand out candy and the bonus for me is getting to see some of my grandkids dressed up! Out of 26 grandkids, I got to see 14- not perfect- but certainly not bad. I dressed up as a witch and it was so fun to see their little faces as they each came to the door. It ranged from surprise- a little fear- and a lot of laughter! I tried to keep a witchy grimace and laugh with all of them.... here are a few pics.

First of all- Heather- she dresses up too. (hmmm-think she got that from her mother?)

Heather (purple witchy-woman- ha ha) and Molly dressed up as Thumbelina (NeeNa)

Maddy is Snow White, Mailei is a cowgirl (she has on some high boots that don't show in this picture) and Mikey is a robot. Too bad this picture doesn't show his hands very well- they all looked awesome!

Along came a little cowboy (Woody) named Nash!

Blake is dressed up as a Ninja! Carter (handsome little guy) is Zorro and Haedon is a dinosaur.

Sam (Werewolf), Aaron (Count Dracula), Ben (Mummy) and Jacob (Scarecrow)! Their mom makes their costumes! Aren't they amazing? Sam was so funny- he told me he was going to go home and "rip his sideburns off like a man!"- Then his mom told him all he had to do was shower and the hair would melt off (it was "glued" on with karo syrup!)

Last (but not least) visitors for the night were Tanner (a dragon) and Ty (a leopard)- Tanner had one of the best reactions to Gramma Witchy! His little eyes nearly popped out of his face- then he just smiled and nodded- like- oh it's just Gramma!

I told the grown up kids I was either a witch or the epitome of the "wicked step-mother"! Cackle cackle! I LOVE HALLOWEEN! So from this crazy old witch to whoever reads here- Hope yours was fun and can't wait for next year!

September-A Month Of Marvelous Moments & Memories!

2009-10-10T08:46:00.001-07:00

Wow- so much time has passed since my last post- and so many wonderful moments and memories have been collected and added to my book of life's experiences! Here are just a few--
We started out September with my Grandma Clark's 100th birthday! She's an amazing, woman who has been my hero and my example all my life. It was a fun celebration! We got to see many cousins and friends that we haven't seen in years. And for the first time in a long time, all of my siblings were together! All seven of us! So I have a beautiful picture of my parents, my grandmother and my siblings.

Then a week later, Brady came to visit. It's always a blast when he comes home for a visit. His nieces and nephews just adore him- well we all do! He is so much fun. My favorite picture of this visit is the picture of him wearing Maddy's little fairy wings and "leaping" in the air for the kids. We all love him so much and are so grateful for him. I remember when he was just a toddler realizing he was sent here to bring us laughter- fun- joy- and he is certainly fulfilling that role! Now he is trying to get moved back to Idaho- we are all so excited! Can't wait!!!

Of course- we had several birthdays this month besides Grandma Clark! This Gramma got to deliver fun presents for all these kids! Molly turned 2; Kyriahna turned 10; AJ (Aaron)turned 3; and Carter turned 6! And because I wasn't going to be traveling again for a while- I added in the October birthdays just for fun! Taron turned 4; Jolanna turns 9 tomorrow; and Sam turns 11 on the 25th! These are just the grandkids-there were other grownup birthdays too!
We ended the month with a visit from Jim's Uncle Rudy & Aunt Laverne. They come to Pocatello once a year from South Dakota. Uncle Rudy was like a second father to Jim and his brothers growing up in South Dakota... hunting, fishing, camping, boating... along with their mom and dad. Jim loves his uncle so much. It is a great privelege for me to get to know him and his wife. They are beautiful people!

So- all in all- September was truly a month of marvelous moments and memories! It is a blessing to be able to connect and share our lives with those we love. It is a blessing to have these people in our lives- whether we see them all the time or just once a year or even longer- these are the experiences and the people that make us who we are. Heavenly Father has blessed us with the capacity to know and love as many people as we ourselves allow into our hearts.. that blessing, that capacity is endless and as eternal as He and His love. I am grateful for my friends, family and for a Heavenly Father who knows my heart and my needs and grants me all that He knows I need.... Posted with love and gratitude!

Family Reunion and Bear Lake

2009-08-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

We just had our bi-annual Toomer Reunion in Paris, Idaho! (Sat. 8/22) It was so much fun. Here is a picture of my daddy (in the Superdad t-shirt) and his siblings. Sometimes when I think of how old we all are getting I get a bit sad-but there is so much love and joy in our family it's hard to stay that way. My Aunt Cheryl-back left in the purple-is insanely fun! She lives in California but always seems to make it back to Idaho for these reunions. Then there's my Aunt Janene- the oldest of my dad's siblings and the bossiest! (hee hee) Seriously-she keeps the family together and organized and we love her to pieces! My Aunt Eulita is from Texas and we don't get to see her at every reunion so it's a special treat when she does make it. Then on the front is my dad (he is awesome)- my Uncle Jack and my Uncle Roger. Uncle Jack and his wife Aunt Norma have had a lot of health problems but they still made it and I'm so glad. I used to stay with them when I was growing up- they were so good to me and I loved being with them and my cousin Pearl Ann. Last of all is the baby of the family- Uncle Roger- he was one of my heroes when I was a kid. I remember when I was in grade school and he was on the high school football team. I'd take my friends to see him at practice and sometimes he'd let me hold his glasses... wow- did I feel so cool?!??! :)

After the reunion, a bunch of us went to Bear Lake for the rest of the day. I was in HEAVEN! Growing up in Montpelier, we would spend our summer weekends alternating between camping and going to the Lake. I've only been a few times as an adult and I have sorely missed it! I am so glad we went! I think my kids and I will be making it a tradition to go at least once a year! Heather and her kids and Donnie & Katie and their kids had a blast too! I wish I could post ALL the pictures- but it would take pages! So here are just a few to kind of give you a feel for the Lake. It is one of the most beautiful places in Idaho. You can wade out in the water it seems like forever before it gets at all deep, so it's especially good for the kids. The water is fairly warm too (at least mid to late summer) and the beach is terrific.

This is Molly and Nash- these two little cousins love to hang out together. I just had to show them off. Heather forgot to bring Molly's suit so she got to swim in the bloomers to her sundress outfit- she didn't care- she just loved the water.

I told the kids the story of the Bear Lake Monster and it was pretty funny. At first Mailei got a little scared so we assured her it was just a story--then she kept coming to me and telling me she was sure she saw the monster out in the deep water. I told her how I used to get up early in the morning during the summer and sit outside on our porch and listen for the Bear Lake Monster.... in my little girl mind, the morning whistle at the train station was the monster waking up and I just knew some morning I would see her taking a walk through the park across the street from our house. 'Course it helped that I had this wonderful daddy who told us all kinds of stories... like the haunted shack on the way to the lake- or that Bloomington (Bloomertown) was named that because ladies hung their bloomers out on the line to dry and everyone could see them when they drove through.... he had a story for every where we went-camping, swimming- wherever....
Anyway- it was a wonderful weekend. The only sad thing for me was that Jim was not able to be there too. We're really hoping that we can get ALL our kids out to the lake sometime... what a great family party that will be.... Jim and I and our kids and our 27 grandkids! Look Out Bear Lake- here we come!

Anniversary-Sharing of Love and Moments

2009-08-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Jim and my 8th anniversary! We have been together for such a short time of our lives, yet it seems we have known each other forever. I do believe our spirits have been connected for a very long time-perhaps long before we actually met . I believe some guardian angel brought us together-knowing we could fill each other's hearts and lives.

Anyway- How did we celebrate? Well- this sweet man took me and my (our) daughter Brooke Anne out to dinner! We pretty much share all our holidays with Brooke, and at least for the past 3 years, it has been a tradition to take her out with us to celebrate our anniversary.

Although some may think it is odd that we don't go out by ourselves, it seems particularly fitting-completely right for us to do this. Brooke connected, bonded with Jim right from the start. He was very patient and let her get to know him in her own way and time. I remember we were at Chicago Connection (one of her favorite restaurants) and at first she was a little shy, but within minutes she reached across the table and patted his hand and from that moment on she has trusted him and grown to love him very much.

Being autistic, Brooke is rather selective about whom she bonds with. I have been very blessed - she has been very blessed- to have Jim as the man in our lives. She loves her "Ji-Ji" as she calls him and so do I! He has been there to help with her and to spend time with her and has even filled in for me when I couldn't make a doctor or dentist appointment. He has picked her up and taken her back to the home she lives in on his own and when we've had her home with us he spends time with her, he takes her out for walks, and he genuinely enjoys her as I do!

So today and yesterday- as I reflected on our anniversary- I was filled with much gratitude for all Jim is and all he does- and especially for his loving acceptance of Brooke Anne. I have never for a moment felt anything but his love for her and for me! And although she may not be able to verbalize it- I know that Brooke Anne feels the same.

I love you my darling husband- and I thank you! Posted from my heart to his!

A Fun & Exciting Announcement!

2009-07-08T22:08:00.001-07:00

So- this is the announce-
ment we just got in the mail!

This is Sam (he's 10)
Jacob (he's 8)
Ben (he's 5)
and Aaron or AJ as I call him
(he'll be 3 in September)

4 fun- excited grandsons---

"keep reading"

YAY!

This will be our

27th grandchild!

Boy? Girl? Only time will tell-
but whatever- we are a very
excited family!

Congrats Jon & Katrina!

Posted with love and joy
by one very happy Gramma!

Birthdays- the older I get-the better they are!

2009-06-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday- the day I celebrate coming to earth and also the day I share with my oldest child- my Mary Heather- my special angel. Happy Birthday Sweetheart- I miss you and I love you tons! I am a little sad being so far away from her-I really like to spend our day together whenever possible- but I am also filled with the joy of being her mom (& all the other kids') and being a gramma and a wife.
Anyway-I celebrated today with my hubby- we went to Carino's (which I love but he doesn't) and I had a diet pop (I haven't had pop in over three months-so I treated myself) and with a "mini" chocolate cake dessert (I've also cut out most sugar for over three months)- it was blissfully divine! Now I'll have to get back to being "good"- no pop and no sugar- hee hee.

I received some really wonderful wishes and gifts this birthday. Thank you to all who remembered! One very special gift was Heather's blog post- wishing me happy birthday with a video of the kids singing to gramma! Of course I was reduced to tears! I just love all my grandkids so, so much!Then there's my wonderful, funny, sweet husband. In our nearly 8 years he has showered me with love, with friendship, and with jewelry! That's right- jewelry! For this birthday he gave me a beautiful silver necklace with aquamarine stones and an eternity ring- platinum with 8 diamonds set in the band. I am always amazed that he comes up with such gifts- he usually sells and/or trades something from his own collections if we don't have the money. However he does it- I am very grateful. I tell him all the time he doesn't have to spend money or buy me "things"- just having his love and sharing his life is enough for me- but he is stubborn and just can't let any special occasion go by without commemorating it with a gift. I do love him so!

Since being married to him I have built quite a jewelry collection as well as a collection of porcelain dolls and of course, my angels.... for many years now I have collected and received gifts of angels-not only from Jim, but from other family members and friends as well.

Ultimately though- the best and most important things in my life are family, friends and my faith. These are things that money cannot buy and nothing can replace. So, I thank Heavenly Father for all that I have been blessed with- for a bounty of love and joy- and for another birthday!

Posted with love and joy!

Surprise for Grampa!

2009-06-09T17:59:00.000-07:00

I'm a little late in posting this, but better late than never I guess! On the weekend of May 22nd I planned a surprise for my sweetheart. He has been depressed because he can't travel much to see kids and other family. He has especially been missing his grandkids, soooooo- I planned a party. It was a "late birthday/early Father's Day" surprise party. It was a little tricky to pull off but we did it.

Jim found out some of his kids were coming to visit but he had no idea it was a special visit and that all of them would try to be here. The only ones that didn't make it were Genevieve and her family in Wyoming because they were ill. We missed them big time!

Anyway-Friday evening first Josh & Tringle arrived with their 5 kids, then Jon & Katrina with their 4 boys, then Justin & Nikki with their 2 boys, and later Jared & Katherine with their 2 kids. Then early Saturday morning Amanda & Tim got here with their 3 girls! With each arrival you could just see the joy swelling in Jim.... What a houseful!

Anyway-Saturday morning the kids all went to work on our yard (it was in sore need of maintenance). Grampa took a little nap while they were working. When they were finished, we lined the kids up with a cake and balloons and when he came out of his bedroom we all sang- "Happy birthday/Father's Day to Grampa"- it was a delightful surprise! He and I were both quite emotional - it was a wonderful moment.

We had a nice big dinner with all the kids and Barb & Jerry came out too. My poor little house was spilled on, scribbled on, full of noise and motion- and it was all absolutely fabulous! Nothing like 16 grandkids running around to fill a home full of love and joy! And worth every moment to see the happiness it brought to Jim.

To round off the weekend, we went to the park early Sunday morning to feed the ducks. We popped popcorn and crumbled up bread and each kid had their own bag of duck food. It was glorious fun!

My love and gratitude to all our kids- you fill our hearts with joy!

Can't wait til next time we all get together!

Posted with tons of love and laughter!

At My "Witt's" End! :>

2009-05-04T20:54:00.000-07:00

Wow! I didn't realize how long it has been since I blogged. I've been so frustrated with my arm and shoulder- I've had bursitis/tendonitis/muscle spasms since mid January! But I think it is finally on the way to healing- at least I've cut down on the prescription pain meds. I'm only using Advil during the day and a muscle relaxer at night. The hardest part has been sleeping- I can't sleep lying down! I've been sleeping semi-reclined in my reclining chair and I am really, really tired of being there! Also-I've been unable to do a lot of everyday things- like sweeping, vacuuming- lifting- can't raise my arm to even fix my hair!!! Then my mom was in the hospital and to top it all off, I came down with a really severe cold that was "borderline" pneumonia as the doctor says... aaaaahhhh! And this year isn't even half way over! (hee hee) Life can really throw hardballs at one-can't it?

But ya know what?- along with those hardballs come a lot of home-runs and victories! With all this "stuff" we've also had two grandkids get baptized. My kids (Donnie, Katie & Heather & their kids) came up during spring break and helped get some things done. They cleaned/cleared out a huge part of our garage! Thank you kids!!!! Jim has been so kind and patient! My mom is getting better every week and the sun is shining a lot more these days!

I must be growing up a little, because through all these struggles these past few months, I was reminded again yesterday, sitting at church, that I have somehow reached a point in my life where I have this steady, underlying sense of joy and gratitude with me at all times. I feel a constant, spiritual comfort that fills my heart and soul. When the "bad stuff" tries to come in and haunt me or taunt me- I am able to get myself back to a place of peace by reminding myself of all the beauty, bounty, and love that has blessed my life. I have learned to trust in the Lord, knowing that He knows my heart and thoughts and even my fears and pain-and yet He loves me- little old me- just as He loves all His children.

So, for now- I just wanted to put these thoughts into words- maybe someone will read them and feel a little uplifted- but if not- that's okay too- I'll have this moment to return to whenever I feel the need-yes?

Posted with love and gratitude!

My Mom

2009-03-15T11:21:00.001-07:00

Today I am thinking about my mom-and what an incredible, complex, amazing woman she is. She is in my thoughts always, but more so today because she is in the hospital. She has been sick for a few weeks now and had multiple tests with more to come. I am worried-to put it bluntly!
I love her so much and have seen her come so far and overcome so much in her life!
I decided to write a little about her here, as a reminder and legacy not only for myself, but for my children and grandchildren and whoever else reads my blog- I am happy to share this with all of you!

First of all- she is 75 years old-will be 76 this summer. She is a tiny little thing-a little under 5' and a little under 100 lbs. First amazing fact: she had a twin that was stillborn a couple of months before she was born-even then she was a toughie and hung on to dear life! She is the youngest of three- her older sister passed away at the age of 47 due to diabetes complications in 1977 or 78... Aunt Delsa was a beautiful woman also. She also has an older brother living in Montpelier-Uncle George. Her mom-my amazing Gramma Clark-is still living (99 yrs old) in Montpelier also. I do not want to digress into a long life history so I will skip now to some most memorable moments with or about my mom.

Growing up in our home was kinda tough- mom was rather unpredictable- but I remember always wanting to make her happy. From a very young age I sensed that she had a lot of sadness in her and I wanted to take it away. She could be very angry or upset one moment and then suddenly make you feel like you were her best friend. There were times I felt safe, loved and protected by her.... times when it really mattered. She was hard on us at times, but she was fiercely protective and did all she could to teach us right from wrong-common sense-and respect and dignity for others. I am so grateful for her firm teachings-she was adament that we never, ever treat anyone bad or make fun of anyone no matter who they were and especially if they were "different" or disabled in any way.

I remember as a little girl thinking my mom was just so beautiful. I found some pictures of her (professional type) and I was sure she had been a movie star. I even told some of my friends that- hee hee. I always looked at her hands and thought they were so pretty. Her nails were always perfect and her hands were so dainty and ladylike. Yet she was a hard worker. She baked bread every week, cared for our garden, chickens, rabbits and orchard as well as our home. She could outhunt and outfish almost anyone-man or woman. We were quite poor, but we always had warm food. She made a lot of our clothes and liked to dress my sisters and me alike for special occasions. There wasn't anything she couldn't sew once she put her mind to it.

One of my favorite memories is her making me a fairy costume for Halloween when I was in first grade. We would have our Halloween parties at school after lunch. We always walked home for lunch and that day was soooooooo exciting for me. Running home-getting dressed up-walking back to school feeling like the most beautiful little fairy in the world! She even made a sparkly, star wand and a little crown...

I remember when I was 11 years old and was talking with some friends about our moms and their ages and "stuff"... well, I felt like my mom was really, really old (she was a whopping 33) because she was older than the other moms.... but then, I smugly thought to myself-she's prettier than all the other moms! And more fun! She could have so much fun just playing with us and it seemed like my friends' moms were always too "grown-up" to play. In fact, my mom (and dad) are still full of fun and play as you can see in the picture above!

When I made choices in my life that were not so great-sure mom got really mad and upset. We had some terrific blowouts... but when those choices got me into trouble or broke my heart (and hers I'm sure) she was there to help put the pieces back together with no lasting grudges or judgements.... just love, acceptance and comfort.

We were not active in the church as I was growing up... we kinda hit and miss at Primary and Sunday School. Occasionally mom taught a class or lead the music and then we'd all go for a while. She even did scouts for a few years. But she always tried to teach us that the church and choosing the gospel was the right way to go. And she rejoiced with us as we achieved and progressed in our spiritual lives. Now-at 75- she has come full circle and is fully active and as I blogged last fall, she and my dad have been sealed in the temple.

The relationship my mom has had with my children has been a source of much joy and happiness for all of us. My kids LOVE their Granny! I have always been very close to my own Gramma and to see my kids have that with my mom has been - well- "totally awesome!" Actually, the feelings are so deep it is hard to put into words.... but I thank Heavenly Father every day for the love my kids and my parents share.

My mom is not and has not been perfect- heaven knows neither am I- but I do believe she has always done the best she possibly could throughout her life's experiences and circumstances. She has endured trials and hardships hard to imagine for a lot of people- some because of her own choices, and some just because that's life- but ultimately her strong spirit has triumphed and brought her to this amazing place she is in right now- spiritually happy and right with herself and her Heavenly Father- emotionally happy and loved by her husband, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great grandchildren, friends..... and so many others! She (and my dad) are such good examples to all of us that it is never too late and you are never too old to make choices and changes that bring you closer to Heavenly Father and to the gospel.
I love my mom!- 'nuff said!

My mom and her mom!

Daddy, mom & me

Posted with love and gratitude!

What One Man Can Do

2009-02-25T17:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we are blessed to have someone come into our lives that changes us forever. At a time when I felt broken, lonely, empty and afraid- this wonderful man- Michael G. Scott- came into my life. He mended my broken heart, filled the emptiness in my soul, and taught me to face life with courage and joy! We were married Oct. 24, 1998 and just 4 short months later- he was in a fatal car crash (2/25/1999). Today, I post to honor him and share a few memories.

Mike and I had actually known each other for nearly 25 years-ironically, he was my college roommate's boyfriend!

We were both in ISU choir back then and enjoyed a wonderful friendship.... he was so fun- always making everyone laugh and making sure everyone was okay.

Anyway-fast forward to summer, (August 1998)-a friend of mine talked me into going to a singles' picnic on Scout Mountain. I usually avoided those activities like the plague and even surprised myself by agreeing to go. In fact, the whole week before I kept trying to think of a way to get out of it- I even tried to enlist my daughter, Heather, in making excuses for me. She refused- saying- "you should go, Mom- you never know, you might meet the man you're supposed to marry." Hah!

I was sure those singles activities were only for "losers"-- much to my surprise, I met many old and new friends upon arriving there... people just like me, looking for friendship and just something fun to do. I was really nervous and as I looked around, I saw Mike standing up under some trees.

It was as if he was bathed- surrounded- in a bright welcoming light.... without hesitation, I was completely impelled to walk up to him and when I said, "Hi, Mike- remember me?"- He instantly wrapped his arm around me and exclaimed- "Roxanne!- how the heck are you?" From that moment on, we spent nearly every waking moment together... his proposal was just as original and unique as only he could be..

I was working at Bannock Hospital and he called me to say he'd had an accident. Said he cut his finger with a saw and was coming to the emergency room and could I meet him there? Of course I was very alarmed! This man was generally a fix-it-myself guy- whether it was work, injuries, cleaning-you name it. So I'm out in the parking lot, pacing, worrying and his truck pulls in. I run out to meet him and when he gets out, his hand is wrapped in this odd looking shiny, yellow paper... I urge him to hurry, but he says wait a minute. He then gets down on his knee, unwraps his hand, and presents a diamond ring as he asks me to marry him! I shouldn't have been too surprised- he talked about marrying me from that very first night- but I was truly, unbelievably stunned! Somehow, I ended up down on my knees also- crying and laughing and saying over and over- yes! yes! yes! He then proceeded to tell me how he had met with each of my children earlier in the day and asked them one by one for permission to marry their mom. He had already won their hearts over, but that gesture meant the world to them and still does.

Of course, by the time I got back into my office, the hospital grapevine had already been alerted and for the rest of the day there was a steady stream of well wishers dropping by to see the ring and share my joy!

In the short time we had together we built a lifetime of memories- from Hawaii to the Coca Cola Factory/Museum in Atlanta, GA to Hurricane, UT. From climbing Red Hill and sitting up there talking for hours to soaking in our own hot tub-from camping with Donnie & Katie, a Disney trip with the kids-a furniture buying trip to SLC- going to the temple together and studying and preparing our Sunday School lessons together-dates with friends and with family- laughing and loving and sharing some of the sweetest-most wonderful moments to some of the deepest, amazing times anyone could ever wish for.... it seems we did it all.

So today- in your honor, Mike-(from this "yellow girl to her pink boy") I share my heart, my love and my gratitude for all you did and all you taught me and my children... and I thank my Father in Heaven for the gift of that sweet moment in time He gave us to share here in our earthly journey- knowing that it will be eternal someday and we will be together again.

Listen to the words of John Denver's song- "What One Man Can Do"- and you will know Mike.

Life as a Gramma - Sooooo Sweeeeet!

2009-02-21T21:08:00.001-08:00

This past year has been really amazing! Babies, baptisms, my parents' being sealed in the temple... and well, Jim retiring on disability, Brooke struggling with a lot of health issues.... a new president of the country.... a new Prophet.... ((((whew!!)))) life just gets a little busy and a lot crazy now and then.

So what do you do when life gets crazy? Just get crazy with it- ha ha! For instance... look at me and Mailei- here we are just havin' a blast.

It was the day of Mikey's baptism and birthday party and things were starting to slow down when I noticed Mailei had a "green" smile from eating the cupcakes... so, I grabbed this toy thingy (some kind of shape maker for play dough) and stuck it under my glasses... then Mailei grabbed another one and stuck it under her glasses. We were so tickled with ourselves! I asked my son, Donnie to get my camera and take a picture of us. So he whispers something to Mailei before she sits on my lap and just before he snaps the picture she smashes one of the green cupcakes against my mouth (so we could match better!)

Then- we noticed Haedon also had a green mouth and tried to get his picture- but he was a little squirmy! We were all laughing so hard!

A little while later Mikey said to me-in a very serious tone of voice-"Gramma, you are possibly "more" crazy than my mom!" hee hee

Well- I can tell you all this- I am proud to be the CrAzY Gramma!

Sure makes life fun and interesting and builds lots and lots of fun memories!

So- to all my kids and grandkids - thanks for the memories and can't wait to build more! Posted with love and gratitude!

PaY It ForWarD!

2009-02-16T10:50:00.000-08:00

This is my beautiful daughter-in-law Katie Lindsay! I love her to pieces and am so grateful she came into our lives!

I was the first to comment on Katie's blog so now it's my turn!

So please start commenting!!!!

{The Rules}

1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me - something crafty or yummy, who knows?!

2. Winners must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift -anything!- for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

3. The gift that you send to your 3 Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!

4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love! If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!

SO, REMEMBER...Pay it Forward- With Love and Have Fun-

Joy- Love- and all that's good!

2009-02-14T10:43:00.001-08:00

Today is Valentine's Day! And I am lucky to have a husband that loves me and loves all our kids and family so much. He brings me joy- he is joy- he is a man of honor and integrity and although he has so many difficulties right now with his health, he still spreads love and sunshine everywhere he goes.

Oh- he has up days and down days, but his is a magnificent spirit always pushing onward and upward! Can't you just see the love and kindness in his eyes and heart in these photos?

He really loves his family- 'specially all our grandkids.

When I think of the word 'joy"- I think of all the wonderful blessings I have been given in my life... my husband, my amazing, awesome kids, my fabulous, delightful grandkids, my parents & siblings, all my extended family, all the good friends I have and have had... and most of all, as I pondered all these things, I realized how lucky and how blessed I am to be a person who is loved. I often think of all those whom I love- but it really hit me today- there are people who really love me... and what more can anyone ask than that? Heavenly Father has blessed us all and it is up to us to recognize and acknowledge His greatness and his generosity and all that He blesses us with. Always remembering that trials and struggles only lead to greater recognition and deeper gratitude for all the things that bring us joy- Happy Love Day to all of you-family, friends, acquaintances, far and near, old and new, you are all so dear to me; and thank you for being a part of my life-whether great or small- you all have touched me in some way and that has brought me to this place- who I am and all that I am. God Bless!

God Bless Our Country!

2009-01-20T23:48:00.001-08:00

Today was a beautiful, joyous, momentous day! The sun was not shining here in Nampa- in fact it was rather overcast, cold and chilly! But my heart and my spirit were full of hope and joy. As I watched our 44th president be sworn into office I was so moved. What a country! What a moment for our country.... and I don't mean just because we have the first African American president- I mean because we live in a country where a leader is chosen by the people and every four years we are reminded of our democracy and our freedoms. We are truly blessed to live in this wonderful nation and truly blessed with freedoms and bounty that no other country has. Whether or not a person voted for President Obama- no matter what party, race, religion, or lifestyle each person chooses- no matter how young or old- we are Americans! And we are blessed! And yes- I am proud to be an American!
**** see Some of My Own Thoughts (Kurt Manwaring's Blog) for a really good take on this! ****

Photo-Phobes

2009-01-19T08:52:00.000-08:00

Okay- so my son Donnie is impossible to get a decent picture of! And where does he get this from? Why my own mother! Just look at the two of them! I tell ya- it's tough being the mom and the daughter of two goof balls like this- hee hee! Seriously, I love them both to death!

Here's lookin' at ya guys!

Wonderful Christmas Gift! - Sisters!

2008-12-21T16:27:00.000-08:00

This year I received one of the best Christmas presents ever!

I have three sisters and a few years ago we started trying to have a "sisters' day out" once a year. It has been hard for all of us to be there, but at the same time, it has brought us even closer together. Even though we all have hectic, dizzy lives going on, we have grounded ourselves and our hearts together as only sisters can.

Well, the youngest of us, Susan- sent us out these little memory books this year! How fun and how heart warming to open this up and look back at us growing up!

I can tell you, I have looked through it many many times now- and each time my heart just swells. I have even shed a few tears of gentle remembering and love. So, to all you who may visit my blog--- meet my sisters! (In a future blog I'll post current pics- gotta get some taken!)

Brenda-

Liana

Susan

And- little ol' me :)

I wish I could copy every page- but that would be a little impractical-yes? Anyway- I just love my sisters and I thank God every day for them and the love and friendship we have shared growing up and all through our lives- And THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL GIFT SIS!

Merry Christmas to all who may visit here and God Bless! With Love- Roxanne

For These Things I Give Thanks

2008-11-26T21:51:00.000-08:00

A Heavenly Father and

Savior who knows me and loves me.

The testimony of truth and right that

gives me strength in the best of times

and in the darkest times.

The prophet and the gospel- that guides me every day.

The wonderful, kind husband who loves me unconditionally.

The awesome opportunity and blessing of being a mother and grandma.

The parents that raised me and taught me to be kind, non-judgemental, and above all accepting of all people- preparing me to raise a daughter with a disability.

The sisters and brothers who grew up with me and lived through all kinds of life's trials and triumphs!

All the people, experiences, moments, and choices that have shaped my life and brought me to this moment and this place.

I give my thanks to my Father and to all who have touched or shaped my life in any way.

Happy Thanksgiving and may God Bless you all!

Sweetheart Tag! How Fun! <3 <3

2008-11-11T21:15:00.000-08:00

Me & My

Sweetheart Jim

March 23, 2002

(Amanda's wedding)

So- Heather

tagged me! & here goes!

Each person tagged gets to answer questions about their sweetheart! Then at the end of the post, they tag 6 others and post their names, then goes to their blogs to let them know they've been tagged. (I don't think I can come up with 6 others, but I'll try)

1- What is your husband's name? Jimmy Lee Witt

2- How long have you guys been married? 7 years, 3 months :)

3- How long did you date? Hmmm- funny story- we "met" on LDS Singles On-Line- sent e-mails back and forth for a couple months, then met face to face. We then dated for 3 months, got engaged and were married 3 months after that..... so altogether, a little under a year.

4- How old is he? Verrrrrrrrry Old (hee hee) 58

5- Who is taller? He is- by about 5 inches.

6- Who can sing best? Definitely me! Although he really loves music!

7- Who is smarter? Definitely he is! He could do sooooooooooooo good on Jeapordy! He is a walking trivia/detail/history/information buff!

8- Who does laundry? We both do our own clothes, but I do the rest.

9- Who pays the bills? I do.

10- Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Is there a wrong side? hee hee- I do.

11- Who mows the lawn? He used to- now we either get the neighbor boy or the scouts come and do it because of his being disabled.

12- Who cooks dinner? I cook or we will each heat up a microwave meal of our own choice.

13- Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Neither - just kidding- we are both pretty strong minded and opinionated, but we are both tolerant of each other's views and we both very easily apologize or admit to being wrong- so, it's a toss up!

14- Who kissed who first? He did - of course!

15- Who wears the pants? I love Heather's answer! "I have one leg in and so does he- we make a good team" He is the priesthood holder and leader in our home- but we work as a team!

Thanks Heather Feather for the tag! I love playing along! Now- let's see, I tag Dani, Jennifer, Tringle, Jenny----- can't think of anyone else! So- go! It's your turn!

Quick, funny story about one of the grandkids :)

2008-11-04T22:12:00.001-08:00

Meet Haedon! He is 2 yrs old (will be 3 in December)

A couple of weeks ago Donnie (Haedon's dad), Heather and I went to Bear Lake to sing in my parents' ward. They were speaking about preparing and getting to the temple. Heather's kids all stayed home with their dad and Haedon's brothers stayed with Katie cause they had to practice for their Primary program - so Haedon was feeling pretty big and having a ball with us.
My sister, Susan, and her hubby were there and my aunt and uncle and we all had dinner at Granny & Grampa Toomer's after church.
Haedon was busily, happily visiting and entertaining all the adults as only a 2 yr. old can. He was sooooooooooo funny! My sister tried to explain to him that I was her sister and he kept indignantly declaring _ "No! - dat's my Dramma!" Of course she couldn't resist and then tried to tell him that Grampa Toomer was her daddy and my daddy- at which he again indignantly insisted _ "No!- he's Drampa!" It was hilarious- the more she tried to explain family relationships to him (that she was his daddy's aunt, etc.) the more indignant and insistent he became. He has such an expressive face and voice- we were all in stitches.

Then, when I told him I wanted to take his picture with Grampa Toomer he jumped up in Grampa's lap. After the picture he jumped down and came to look at the camera- then ran and jumped back in Grampa's lap saying "again!" for another picture- 5 times! It was great fun for all of us.

'Course I just have to tell about his declaration during the prayer in Sacrament Meeting.... he was kind of kicking the bench in front of us and I grabbed his feet- then Donnie picked him up and sat him on his lap. At this point Haedon declared loudly- "I'm Gonna poop on you"- (hee hee) I had taken him potty before the meeting but he didn't do anything, so Donnie "subtly" took him out and took him to the potty where he took care of business!

Everyone should have a "Haedon" in their life! We are so blessed! All 26 of our grandkids are uniquely wonderful and I can't imagine life without them! Sooooo- as time goes by I will be sharing many, many fun memories about these delightful little people and hopefully those of you who read my blog will be entertained, inspired, and moved!

Posted with love and gratitude, Roxanne

Memory Tag

2008-10-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

Well- once again I'm following in my daughter's footsteps! I don't know if many people actually read my blog- but since I left a memory on her blog and on Michelle's, well- maybe someone will share with me- so here's how it works---

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a lot or a little, anything you remember.

2. Next, repost these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to read some of the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you are playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

So, there you have it- hope to hear from some of you! God Bless!

Sometimes Ya Just Want Your Gramma!

2008-10-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Heather and Mike took their kids for a fun road trip to Yellowstone Park. According to Heather, the kids were all excited- road trips are one of their favorite family activities. Well - - as they were driving, Mikey started asking if they could go to Gramma Roxanne's house too. Mike told him "No, not this trip".. then I guess Mailei and Maddy started asking (Ya think they love their Gramma?). And again, their dad told them "No, not this trip", explaining they weren't even going in the right direction... Anyway- the kids were enjoying the trip, the scenery, and all, but they just kept asking to go to Gramma's and mom and dad were getting a little annoyed... (hee hee)- but eventually they all got engrossed in different things (fickle little tykes!) and Mikey sorta dozed off or something. Then he suddenly sat up and said, "HEY! I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO GRAMMA ROXANNE'S!" (Ta-da!- not so fickle after all) - At this point I guess Mike lost a little of his patience and "suggested" that he could stop the car and let Mikey WALK to Gramma's. Heather said it got very quiet for a little while and they figured Mikey had finally given up. Then a paper airplane suddenly (quietly) comes flying up to the front of their van..... she opened it up and found this picture! Mikey had drawn himself with tears running down his face (actually, all down his body and to the ground) and a little "thought" balloon showing his Gramma's face with tears running down! Just had to let Mom and Dad know that they were really making him and his Gramma very sad! So, needless to say, the next time I went to visit I just had to steal the picture- it is just too precious for words! And right about now this Gramma is feeling all warm and fuzzy and very, very loved!

(And of course this is one of those life moments you just "hafta share"!)

7 RaNdOm ThInGs AbOuT mE!

2008-10-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

Okay- Heather tagged me- so here goes! (and here are the rules)

1-Link to the person who tagged you and post these rules on your own post.

2-Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog- some random- some weird.

3-Tag 7 people at the end of your post-leaving their names as well as links to their blogs. (I may have trouble with this one- most of the blogs I'm following have already been tagged)

4-Comment to the people you tagged and let them know they've been tagged.

Ready- set- GO!

1- I watched American Tale with some of my grandkids last weekend and yes, I cried when Fievel finally found his family!

2- As I was growing up I always promised myself I would never be divorced- never marry more than once- and blah, blah, blah! Well, I'm on my third marriage (that's right #3)- My first marriage ended in divorce (not my choice). My second husband was absolutely wonderful and we had a love that was unbelievable! He is my eternal partner & soulmate. Then he died in a car wreck just 4 months after we married. My present husband is also a wonderful man- we share a beautiful life together with wonderful kids, grandkids, and other family. He too is my soulmate- my kindred spirit. Along with our love for each other, we share a deep love for the gospel and are blessed with sweet, strong testimonies. I have truly been blessed to have these two wonderful men come into my life and love me and love my children. When I sometimes feel like life has picked on me, I just have to look into my sweet hubby's face and see and feel his love and know that ultimately- all will be well!

3- I have 4 biological children, 6 non-biological (step) children, (6 other step-children from my second husband), 8 "in-law" kids (my kids' spouses), 26 grandkids, 3 sisters & 3 brothers, both my parents & Jim's mom still living, my 99 yr-old gramma still living. Plus tons of other family!

4- I have several nick names, but my current favorite is "WSML" (pronounced "wu-su-mul"). It stands for "Wicked-Step-Mother-In-Law" hee hee! It's been a fun little joke between me and one of our daughters-in-law.

5- I went to Europe twice with the Camerata Singers from Pocatello! It was fabulous! We sang in many old, old churches, cathedrals, etc. On our first trip we even sang at the Vatican during "High Mass"- it was awesome.

6- I was recently called to be the "Literacy Specialist" for Relief Society and am looking forward to learning and exploring this new calling and sharing some fun experiences with the sisters in my ward.

7- My favorite types of music are Celtic, Opera, DeadraveN (that's Brady- some of his stuff is a little out there for me, but he is really, really good), Neil Diamond, John Denver, Taylor Hicks,- and well, lots of other stuff!

Now- who do I tag? I'll try these people- Jennifer Toone ; Jen Barlow ; Katie ; Tringle ; Bullocks ; Kurt ; Merediths SUPRISE!!! Now get going!

"Kickin" with the Witts!

2008-10-08T15:54:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we had lots of fun! Josh, Tringle and their 5 kids came to stay! Saturday we all went to a Karate tournament in Meridian where Tringle, Kyriahna, Jolanna, Kaldon & Malaya competed. Kaldon & Malaya were in the "Tiny Tigers" so their routine was just to follow one of the officiators and they were judged on their form. It was sooooooooo cute! Then Kyriahna & Jolanna each had to do a memorized 'form' routine and they both had a sparring match. Kyriahna placed 4th in her division for her form routine and Jolanna placed 2nd in sparring. It was very interesting and fun for this gramma I tell you!

Kyriahna (9yrs old)- with her 4th place medal!
One happy little girl! She works hard and practices hard too!

Jolanna (almost 8) with her 2nd place medal!
Another hard working girl!

And then there's Tingle! Wow! She was supermom!She kept track of all the kids' gear and all their schedules! She didn't miss a single event for all 4 of the kids! For Kaldon and Malaya in Tiny Tigers it wasn't too difficult- we all got to watch them. They were at slightly different times and in the same room.

But when it came to Kyriahna & Jolanna- well, their competitions were basically at the same time in separate rooms. I caught Jolanna's form routine and her first sparring match and I saw Kyriahna's form routine and sparring match. However, Jolanna had a second sparring match that I missed- but not Tringle. She litereally flew from room to room, camera in hand, and not only caught their routines and sparring matches but made it in time to see both girls get their medals presented!

Then- after lunch I took the kids home and Tringle and Josh stayed for Tringle to compete. I believe this was her first time and she was so excited! But she got her heart broken!

They asked her if she wanted to spar and she said "sure"! (She's always up for a challenge) Then they matched her with a woman who had won several championships and was really "into" her Karate! I guess the first kick caught Tringle square in the chest and sent her flying across the ring and onto her bottom! Evidently this partner didn't understand that part of the sport is exercising "control" and the point is to NOT use full force. But- kudos for Tringle! She might be a beginner, but she scored 2 points on the "champ"! GO GIRL!

Tringle- all smiles "before" getting "beat up"!
(sorry-little joke there!)

Kaldon and Gramma- hangin' out!

OH WHAT JOY!

2008-09-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

Owen Blake Toomer and Mary Joyce Lane
(my mom and dad)
Sealed for time and eternity Sept. 24, 2008
Logan, Utah temple
How do I describe what depths of joy we experienced last Wednesday? There are no words adequate- no articulation that can contain the singing in my heart. My mom- my daddy- made it to the temple! They were sealed for eternity and I am now sealed to them for eternity also!

They were accompanied by many ward members as well as myself (I was my mom's escort), my son Donnie (my dad's escort), and my daughter Heather and her hubby Mike (he was one of the witnesses). There were other family members - And- my Uncle George (my mom's brother) performed the sealing ceremony!
(As I said "Oh What Joy!")

I remember the first time I went to the temple- I didn't know the joy I felt then was just the beginning! I remember feeling the sweet assurance of the spirit that my parents would someday be sealed- but at that time I really thought it would only happen after they had passed!

What a journey we've all had! When I received that assurance my mom and dad weren't even married to each other- in fact my mom was married to someone else! Then, they remarried in 1980 (in my home!) to everyone's surprise. Who knew? Well- I guess the spirit had whispered these things to my spirit many years before, and this also fulfills one of the promises in my Patriarchal Blessing! These past 5-6 years watching them grow in the gospel- seeing Donnie ordain his Grandpa to be an elder- seeing my mom stretch and reach goals and overcome doubts that have plagued her for decades- being able to converse and actually "teach" my parents things I have longed to share with them- has taught me so much about the Lord and how He works and how He blesses us- always in His time and in His wisdom!

As a mom I have experienced the thrill and joy of seeing my two older children obtain their own temple blessings- I see them raising my grandbabies in homes filled with joy, light, and love! I see my younger son (Brady) on his own journey in life-finding what brings him joy and creating beautiful art and music all along the way. I see my baby, Brooke Anne-though she struggles in her mortality- her journey is bright and sure! I am truly blessed- and can only say again and again- "Oh What Joy!"

This experience has reminded me once again- that whenever we feel overwhelmed with sorrow or we feel life has dished out just too much for us to bear- Heavenly Father is always, always there and always mindful of us and if we do all we can to "hold to the rod", if we endure the trials we face seeking His love and guidance, all will be well- and we will know joy- not just momentary happiness and fun (and who doesn't love that?)- but the deep, abiding joy that fills our hearts and spirits even in our deepest times of trial.

As I said in the beginning- I really cannot find the words to adequately articulate all that I am feeling this week- know only that my heart and spirit are so full- my cup does indeed runneth over- and my prayers as always are with all! God Bless!

Pondering Life-

2008-09-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago our bishop challenged our ward to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year (by reading about 5 pages a day). I have found this time to be very interesting. I am finding new (or more) meanings in things I have read several times before- ways to apply the stories/lessons to my life now.

As I read the words of Nephi- feeling sad and chastising himself for his weaknesses- for falling into sin even with all his knowledge- I likened the words to myself and at first began to feel very frustrated and upset- then as I read further his words of recommitting himself to the work of the Lord and to living as he knew he should, I found myself making the same commitment-

I have also been reminded through this reading that "things" of the world are of such little importance in the eternal perspective. How easy it is to get caught up in wanting-getting-pursuing "things"- and forgetting that each day is a gift and that the most important things are the ones we love and love us!

I have gained more understanding of the prophet's words regarding the sanctity of family. Above all else- above all earthly pursuits and pleasures, is the duty we owe to maintain our families. I have felt weighed down through the years because of what I felt was my failure when my family fell apart- but I have been assured through the spirit that all is well- and to mind the stewardship I now have. What a blessing! Perhaps if I had not taken heed of the bishop's challenge these assurances wouldn't have come at this time.

I am so grateful for all our kids-grandkids-friends-family- we are so very blessed! Yes, we are facing some hard times right now- but only in a worldly sense- spiritually we are growing stronger and together we are standing firm.

In a few days I will have the awesome priveledge of seeing my parents go through the temple for the first time. They will be sealed to each other and I will be sealed to them. I can't begin to put into words the tremendous, overwhelming joy I am feeling; the warm, wonderful sense of peace.

What an inspiration they are to me and what a wonderful example they are for all of us!

Well- gonna close for tonight- just wanted to get some thoughts down. God Bless!

A "Hairy" Tale

2008-09-13T09:05:00.000-07:00

Quite often I decide to do "something" with my hair- y'know- keep life interesting in little ways. I've been several shades of blonde-goldish-ashish-dark-bright-you name it- over that past several years. I usually go to Master Cuts where you can just walk in. The last time I really liked my hair was in Feb 2007- had it done at Pocatello Beauty School - haven't had same result since (see picture of Scooter & me). Several months later, I had it "trimmed" and highlighted at Penny's - DISASTER! They cut it way too short and the color turned out orange- not exactly what I was aiming for- it lightened up as it grew out thank heaven!

So-anyway- the end of May I had it done (at Master Cuts) and in order to even out the color the gal darkened it and then added hi-lights- it turned out darker than I've worn for a long time and at first I hated it! But then it kinda grew on me (ha ha-no pun intended!) and I decided that I liked it darker. Once again as it grew out it lightened up a bit but I still liked it- it looked more natural-Now- fast forward to a couple of days ago- I go into Master Cuts and tell them I want my hair done same as last time- maybe just a "bit" lighter- to keep the general shade I had but to freshen up the hi-lights- as is usually the case there, the gal that did it last time is gone but they supposedly have a card with all the info- so a different person does my hair. I am totally relaxed, enjoying my hair being done and visiting with this gal (she has an autistic daughter so we had a lot to chat about)- feeling pretty fine- then off comes the foil- I get shampooed & conditioned- get back to chair- off comes the towel- and !VOILLA!- I am blonde! Not just a "bit" lighter- not just light hi-lights- but really, really blonde! So-here it is- me with really blonde hair-

I'd really like some feedback- Do I keep it? or- as soon as I can- without frying my hair- do I go back to the darker look?

Can't wait to hear from some of you!

The Face of Autism

2008-09-10T17:02:00.000-07:00

Jigsaw puzzle pieces have been used as a sort of symbol of Autism- perhaps to demonstrate that there are many faces or "pieces" of this disorder and that those who have Autism may have many or just one or two of the complicated characteristics or symptoms of Autism. In an earlier blog, I noted that Brooke Anne is Autistic- not the Autism of "today"- and I just wanted to clarify my thoughts and feelings in case anyone thought I was being mean spirited or thoughtless in any way.

We are learning more and more about Autism and it's many faces these days. In fact, the diagnosis now comes from what is called the "Autism Spectrum Disorder" which includes all kinds of sub-categories- Rhett's Syndrome, Fragile-X, and Aspergers Syndrome to name just a few. I am a strong advocate for education and learning all we can about this disorder and getting the necessary services, education and treatment for those afflicted. However, these days I find myself a little disconcerted- or rather concerned- if we are to believe the advertised statistics regarding not only Autism but other childhood disorders as well (ie: ADD, ADHD)- well, it seems that pretty much EVERY child must have some kind of disability or disorder of some kind. And I wonder - how do we balance finding a "diagnosis" to "help" our kids versus finding a "label" that "targets" them for less than adequate attention or education? If a child has mild symptoms or characteristics that may look like "something"- if they don't appear to fit our idea of "normal" or typical behavior-but they can otherwise achieve and succeed in a typical setting, do we slap a label on them? Or do we instead celebrate that each and every child is an individual with unique abilities- behaviors- characteristics- and concentrate instead on helping him/her achieve their individual best?

I'm not saying that we ignore those with limited capabilities- not at all! And I'm not saying that awareness is a bad thing- it is something that I have worked and fought for for more than two decades now. What I am saying is that sometimes- sometimes- kids are just kids- y'know with different levels of abilities and comprehension- with different behaviors and skills- and sometimes, for a child who is very mildly afflicted, a label that will follow them all through school and through their lives may be far more detrimental than them learning to work and achieve the best they can in spite of some difficulties.

Kids are amazing and they can learn so much with encouragement and in positive environments. It is important for parents- well for all of us- to recognize the needs of all children and to teach and work with them as individuals- those with significantly limited skills and those with minor limitations as well as those we call "normal"- each according to their own abilities. But perhaps- just perhaps- the real awareness comes in meeting the individual needs of them all and not so much in getting them a "label" that can be used as an excuse or crutch to allow a child to not reach their full potential. In a perfect world it would work both ways- I once believed that getting a diagnosis or "answer" meant getting the best possible services and education- I found it didn't work that way a lot of the time- the diagnosis or label worked against us in many ways- yet in our case, it was necessary- Brooke Anne is severely Autistic and her needs are great-but it is my prayer that kids who can succeed without the labels (with enough assistance from parents/teachers/families) won't have to go through life thinking they are somehow impaired or less than perfect.

To me this beautiful picture perfectly portrays the face of Autism- a puzzle of many pieces- but in spite of the bits and pieces that may be askew in the eyes of the world- this is the face of some of God's most precious children- and we have the honor and the awesome duty to provide them with a life full of love, acceptance, and as much happiness as they can find here.

To my daughter, and to our two grandkids- I pledge to keep up the fight and to do all I can to promote awareness and education!

Let's all reach out and help put those pieces together- for all our sakes!

A Baby....A Blessing....and a Handful!

2008-09-09T09:47:00.001-07:00

This is our sweet Phoebe- Phoebe Joy O'Connor- born July 17 to Tim and Amanda (Amanda is Jim's youngest daughter). She has 2 older sisters, Eliza (5) and Evie (2). Three little golden haired princesses (at least I think Phoebe will also have golden hair- :) - she's a little sparse right now)

Yesterday (Sept. 7) was her blessing day. Amanda made her dress and bonnet-I just wish this picture showed how adorable it is. It's white (of course) with pale, peachy-pink ribbons sewn into the smocking & trim.

Her daddy, Tim, blessed her and it was a beautiful blessing. They are such a sweet family!

I look at our family - at all our kids and grandkids - and I see the promise of the future and our posterity and all it can and will be. Jim and I are both so pleased and so proud of how our kids are living their lives and raising their own children. There is a bounty of unconditional love and acceptance between all our kids and Jim and I. Although it is still my firm belief that families should do all they can to stay together-the way the Lord designed- we have been blessed in our particular situation and I thank Heavenly Father from the bottom of my heart for all He has blessed us with.

We were especially blessed this summer with two babies- just 6 days after Phoebe was born, Justin (Jim's youngest son) and Nikki had a baby boy- Tyler Davis Witt- born July 23rd- He will be blessed on the 21st.

At the church for Phoebe's blessing, Grampa was holding Tyler while another baby was being blessed. As we were all sitting there with our heads bowed, eyes closed- I hear this little "psssst!" from Jim. I look over and wow!- Ty had given Grampa a handful! He had what is affectionately called a total "blow-out" or rather in this case a "run-over"- Jim was holding Ty a little away from his body- dripping baby "stuff" from the back of Ty's bottom & down his legs- down Grampa's hand, arm, and clothes- down the front of the church seat and down onto the floor between Jim's legs! We were trying hard to maintain some semblence of reverence, but totally (quietly) cracking up at the same time. Needless to say- as soon as the blessing was finished, Nikki, Ty & Grampa made a quick exit to get things cleaned up!

Oh- the joys of grandparenting- they are abundant and often surprising. We take it all in and with the perspective of eternity and the perspective of our age (not that we are all that old, mind you) we are filled with such gratitude and such wonder.

I have decided that no matter what life hands you- if you look for the positive and lean on the Lord, you will always find blessings galore and good, wonderful reasons to be joyful and grateful! So, to all our kids and all our loved ones (friends and family)- thank you for bringing joy to us and for letting us share in your life journey! Take care & God bless!

Happy Birthday Gramma!

2008-09-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

I was going to write yesterday but didn't get the chance- My Gramma Clark turned 99 on the 4th! WOW! Just had to acknowledge her again for the wonderful, amazing woman she is and always has been!

This picture was taken back in 1964 when my Gramma and Grampa went on their mission. I missed them so bad while they were gone- it seemed like forever to my 9-yr old heart. Every day I would kiss their picture and tell them I loved them and missed them. Then- heartbreak!- the first day they came home I missed them! I was staying out of town with another cousin.... I cried for days! When I finally got to see them it was like stepping back into that safe haven of love and peace that I always felt with them.

One of my favorite memories of Gramma- she worked as a nurse and would often stop by on her way home from work. For some reason I was fascinated with her watch and would sit with my ear against her wrist listening to the tick-tick-tick. She always had those big packages of gum in her purse and we all got a stick every visit! As I got older she encouraged me and supported me in my love of music. She paid for us girls to have piano lessons- I was the only one who stuck with it for at least as long as we had a piano (unfortunately only a few years). One Christmas she gave me an "extra" present- it was a metronome for my piano practicing. I felt so special- that little package meant the world to me. I gave my precious metronome to my precious angel- Heather! She plays the piano like I always wanted to- you can lose yourself in the music when Heather plays.

Anyway- I hope I grow up to be just like my Gramma! I hope to attain the same inner strength and peace, that glow of love and spirituality that she possesses! I have a long way to go!

I listen to the words of the Il Divo song- "Mama" and it expresses so much how I feel about my Mom and especially today- about my Gramma.

I am truly blessed to have come from such strong, wonderful women- to see them face the struggles and trials of their lives and to come out on top! To see them love and laugh and live life every day the best they can- that is how I want to be and hopefully the legacy I will leave to my own children!

Bye for now- and God Bless!

Brooke Anne- a celestial soul

2008-08-30T14:34:00.000-07:00

Brooke Anne is the youngest of my four natural children. She is a beautiful, 25 year old, young lady who just happens to have Autism. I don't mean the Autism of today where every child/person who exhibits any characteristic or symptom or behavior of the "autism spectrum" may be called Autistic. She is severely Autistic.

She has very little verbal speech- only a few partial words- but she does understand most of what is being said to her. She uses a little, basic sign language to help communicate her basic wants/needs.

She doesn't read or write (that we know of) although she recognizes certain words, signs (K-Mart -where she loves to get icees) and given assistance she can put simple functional sentences and requests together on her communication book/board. Her overall behavior is sometimes that of a very young child and sometimes a very astute young lady. She doesn't have a lot of control over her emotions- she cries, yells, laughs, pouts, smiles- y'know- whatever she feels, she shows. She does have a hard time communicating - 'specially when she is hurting or scared or something. Those of us who are with her a lot can read her or understand her most of the time though.

She does have her own unique sense of humor- her own taste in music- her own preferences for toys or activities-even people. She is a delightful, funny, warm, and loving person. Once you are accepted and loved by Brooke Anne- it is forever! She doesn't forget the people or family who are a part of her life.

I have learned a lot over the years- raising and knowing her has been such a challenge- but, oh, the joy and the honor that has come with being her Mom. She has taught me the importance of so many things-and I have been blessed a thousand fold because of her. The deep, agonizing pain of sending her to a group home has never quite diminished, but the reward has been seeing her progress and accomplish more than she might have if she had not had that opportunity. Besides- she is loved there- and she is content.

There are many things that we all take for granted-simple things that hardly get a second thought. Talking- communicating- imagine not being able to express yourself so others can understand. Hearing-understanding- imagine not understanding the world around you- the confusion of noises-sights-people-smells- none of it really making sense in your brain. Holding down a job- basic functional skills/tasks- imagine taking years to learn basics of dressing/self-hygiene/using utenstils to eat/all the things we learn easily as toddlers took her years of special programs-education and still she struggles and has to have assistance with nearly every aspect of her life.

How blessed are we who are "normal"- with our senses, our capabilities, our limbs, our health- our intelligence...... need I go on?

But- oh how blessed are we who have a soul such as Brooke Anne in our family- in our midst! To

be in her presence is to be in the presence of a celestial soul. In the middle of a wild tantrum- in a moment of peace and quiet- there is always the knowledge and light of knowing who she really is and how close to the veil- to heaven and our Heavenly Father and Christ she is every single moment of her mortal journey.

I remember one Fast Sunday, years ago, she was about 7, we were all in church together-sitting on the back row in case we had to make a quick get-away :) - I challenged one of her brothers to go bear his testimony and added the little gibe- "do it for your sister, Brooke Anne"- well, he said to me, "No, why doesn't she bear her own testimony?"- instantly, the spirit moved me and I found myself walking up to the front to bear "Brooke's" testimony. I don't recall the exact words, but I do recall the feeling and assurance from the spirit that Brooke does indeed have a perfect testimony. I know that she knows why and how and where she is- yesterday-today-forever. And I know that she is perfectly at peace with what her mortal journey is. As I stood bearing this testimony for her, Brooke Anne stood up in the back of the chapel- smiling and watching me- surrounded by what I can only describe as the light and visage of Christ and her own celestial spirit. I wasn't the only one who saw that- a wife of one of the Bishop's counselors later shared with me that her husband saw it too. She had asked him why he was so emotional during my testimony and he told her about the light he saw encompassing Brooke Anne. I have had many other spiritual experiences and confirmation regarding my sweet little girl, including a very clear revelation in the temple of how and why she is here now and where she was in the pre-existence. I know that her "Autism" is a cloak of protection to keep her safe-she is a valiant soul and her place in the celestial kingdom is guaranteed.

I could write volumes about Brooke Anne- how she grew up in a wonderful neighborhood surrounded by love and acceptance - how we all learned to stand up for her and for what is right- how still to this day- my heart sings when she smiles at me and says "ma-ma"and gives me her special little hug & kiss- how she makes me feel strong and capable. I love her so much and I am so humbled and so grateful to have been blessed with her as my daughter. I thank Heavenly Father endlessly for entrusting this magnificent, beautiful celestial soul into my care- for trusting me to be her mother in this life and I can't wait to see her "whole and well" in the spirit world!

A Memorable Trip

2008-08-21T20:12:00.001-07:00

Okay, so this past weekend I took a quick trip to southeast Idaho- Pocatello, Blackfoot, and Montpelier. Saturday we celebrated a grandson's birthday (Nash Lindsay-son of Donnie and Katie). It was a lot of fun- I can't wait to get moved back to Poky to be closer to all our kids all the time!

Sunday I went to Montpelier. I got to see my oldest brother (for once) and his two daughters.

I also got to visit with my Grandma Clark. She is 98- will be 99 on Sept. 4th! Isn't she beautiful?! She has been my rock- my safe haven- my hero-all my life. It was her and my Grandpa's encouragement and example that gave me the desire to be who I am- that enabled me to build the testimony I have and the faith that has carried me through so much tribulation. She is "The Wind Beneath My Wings"-

I then spent the night with my mom and dad. It was great- they had just gotten their temple recommends from their Bishop. I am so proud of them and so happy for them. They have set September 24th as the day they will go be sealed in the Logan, Utah temple. WOW! Imagine- they are 75 and 77 yrs old. Goes to show ya- it's never too late.

After leaving Bear Lake, I visited with Jim's mom and went with her to her doctor appointment on Tuesday- took her grocery shopping- and made sure all was well with her.

It was a busy trip- but so wonderful and memorable. I don't know how much more time I will have with my sweet Grandma- she says she's staying a little longer (as long as the Lord lets her) but she also says she knows there's a "real good place" for us after this life.

So with that I will close for now- God be with you all and remember to love as He loves and let the joy He promises us be in your heart and life.

Whoa!

2008-08-10T17:33:00.000-07:00

Well- as usual, I have a little more to say. I just couldn't sign off today without also acknowledging my mom and dad. They are such amazing people. They, too, have faced a lot of adversity and trials in their lives and they are conquering all and landing right where I always knew they could be! In the past 6 years they have returned to full activity in the Church. It has been so wonderful to watch them each step of the way. When my dad was ordained an Elder in the priesthood, my son, Donnie had the honor to ordain him. Wow! What a day for all of us. Then a year later, he (my dad) was ordained a High Priest by his brother-in-law. My mom who fought tobacco addiction all my life (I don't remember a time she wasn't trying with all her might to quit) has now been over 2 years without a single smoke! As if this wasn't amazing enough- a couple of weeks ago my mom called to let me know they are going to the temple in September! I have wept buckets of joyful tears and gratitude since getting the news! I will be sealed to them!

My heart only wishes all my siblings could be part of this- but-who knows? The day may still come that each of them will turn this way too! In the meantime- I just love them all- 3 brothers and 3 sisters- with all my heart! Not only are they my siblings, they are my friends and their love and support through the years has meant so much!

2008-08-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

Okay- so today I decided to try this blog thing out. With a lot of encouraging/urging from my beautiful daughter, Heather, here goes!

This life has been quite a journey so far. Lots of ups and lots of downs- but I am blessed to have a deep understanding and testimony and so I lean on the Lord for strength and courage when I need it and give thanks to Him for all I have and all I have experienced that has brought me to who I am and where I am now.

I sometimes feel I could write volumes on the trials I have faced through the years, but those who know me already know enough about that, and those who don't know me- well, just suffice it to say, I'd rather you know the good things in my life and perhaps along the way I will occasionally share some of the things I have faced and hopefully conquered!

For today, my first blog, I just want to acknowledge the love and support I have felt throughout my life from my Heavenly Father. I want to acknowledge the love and support of my wonderful, kind, loving best friend and husband. I want to acknowledge the love and support of my magnificent children. I have four- 2 boys, 2 girls. 2 married- 2 not. There were times in my life that I think only their love and the joy and honor of being their mom kept me going. And now, I have 8 fantastic grandkids with them. (With my husband's family I have 18 (that's right-18) more fantastic grandkids!) Seeing my children, the adults they have become, gives me such joy and such a sense of exactly what our eternal perspective and purpose is. In those dark hours, when the sadness or the regret of past trials tries to overtake my mind and heart, I think of my children- I call them or read their blogs, text messages, etc. and I am renewed. I turn to Heavenly Father in humble gratitude for being blessed with them in my life.

As I walk through this blog process, I will take time for each of my kids and write about them and their families. If I do it individually, then perhaps I will do them justice. For now- well- I guess this is a start, Heather! What do ya think?